A (Not So) Stereotypical Friendship
by thoughtsmussingsandwishes
Summary: (A fluffy SwanQueen story about best friends, love, and family.) "So I guess we're bffls now." Emma says with an awkward chuckle. "What is a biffl? I ask, utterly confused by the word and by this entire line of conversation. "Bffls" She corrects. Although I don't hear a difference unitl she explains. "It stands for Best Friends For Life."
1. The Joke

**This is a SQ friendship story. I think it will end in a romance but I'm letting it flow organically for now. I want it to be as realistic to the show as possible. Being realistic unfortunately means mentions of OQ and CS but it's not anything major so don't let that deter you!**

 **I am writing this as season 5 starts but it takes place after Emma is saved from the Dark One's Curse. Because of this, the story may be accurate to the new information from after season four but I will try to keep it as up to date as possible.**

 **This story is also entirely in Regina's point of view. I've never written a story like this before so it's a challenge. I really love her character though and I couldn't keep this idea out of my head!**

 **As always I do not own any rights to Once Upon a Time!**

It began as a joke. A way to lighten an uncomfortable situation. I really couldn't blame her. It was even a relief at the time. If only I had known how long this particular joke would go on for….

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I felt strange waking up today. Good…but strange.

First if all, I didn't wake up to an alarm like I did almost every other morning. But I could tell, even with my eyes still shut, that the sun has certainly already made his appearance.

I started to peak my eyes open and saw that I was NOT in my own bedroom. Panic caught me for a second before I realized it was one of the guest rooms in my own home.

Just as I was starting to put the pieces together in my sleep-addled brain, I felt someone shift next to me.

Immediately my eyes popped open and I bolted upright in the bed. Although I had been starting to get use to sleeping next to someone else every once in a while, (Robin) it by no means felt normal for me.

And it most definitely was not _Robin_ the bed next to me.

Suddenly the memories from the night before came rushing back as I carefully extract myself from the bed and make my way into my own bedroom to get ready for the day.

 _"Emma? What are you doing here?" I ask as the blonde stands dejectedly on the other side of her door._

 _"Hey" Her voice sounds so small and…broken. She doesn't even look at me as she says it._

 _"What's wrong?" My voice becomes much more gentle. I had been a bit harsh when I fist responded. It IS midnight and I was about to go to sleep when I heard the knock._

 _Suddenly she is looking at me. Her stare is intense. (When is it not?) And I am super concerned because she looks like she's on the brink of tears. And just as I think this, she begins sobbing._

I check Henry's bedroom on the way to my own and see that he is still asleep. Good, that gives me time to take a shower before I have to make your big Sunday breakfast.

The shower gives me way too much thinking time though…

 _Shock_

 _That's all that my brain can process for about 10 really long seconds before my body instinctively moves. I pull her into a hug (something we are not adapt to doing) and hold her tight while she cries into my shoulder. It doesn't take her very long to loosen her arms from around her midsection to wrap them around my waist._

 _It feels…nice. Comforting. Even though I am technically the one doing the comforting._

 _"Let's get you inside." I murmur and slowly pull out of the embrace so I can guide her into the mansion. I keep a hand on her back until you get into your study and place her on the couch._

 _I would have brought her into the living room (it's more comfortable) but Henry may still be awake and I don't think that she will want him to see her like this._

 _THIS, being a total miss. I haven't seen her in a few days. Not since the she was extracted from the darkness. If her looks right now are any indication, she's not handling the transition well._

 _"Sorry." She says quietly and tries to control her breathing. "I just…you just…I thought you'd be the only one to be able to understand." She tries to explain._

 _I sit down next to her. Closer than you guys are use to, but I get the feeling she likes the closeness when she's upset like this._

 _"What would I understand? The darkness?" I ask tentatively._

 _"No…" She doesn't seem to want to explain further but still you wait and after a full minute passes she explains. "What it is like to kill someone you love..."_

 _She says it so quietly, I have to stain to hear it. I am a little shocked by her statement, but not upset, not as upset as she clearly thinks I will be._

 _"Yes, I do. Although it wasn't quite the same."_

 _"I know. He wasn't the thing I loved most…"_

I shake my head free of these thoughts as I step out of the shower to get changed. I contemplate putting on a nice outfit. (I do have a guest after all.) But it's a Sunday morning and I am used to wearing more casual clothing in my own home. Plus, it's not like Miss Swan didn't spend all night with me while I was in my pajamas. So I put on jeans and a sweater and comfy socks and deem it appropriate.

Cooking breakfast, unfortunately doesn't distract me enough from my thoughts.

 _"I was referring to the fact that you were under a curse when you committed your crimes."_

 _She finally looks back up at me and shakes her head like she doesn't believe my words. And then she sinks into my side. A silent invitation to hold her again._

 _So I do._

 _We sit like that for some time. "Let's get you to bed." I suggest. "If you're feeling up to it, we can talk about it in the morning."_

 _I am not letting her out in this state so I gently guide her to the guest room closest to Henry's._

 _He must have heard us coming up the stairs because as Emma is curling up on the bed, he walks into the room._

 _"Mom?" he questions me quietly._

 _I look at him and shake my head. Pleading him not to ask questions at the moment._

 _He nods in understanding but after a moment goes to lay down on one side of the bed beside Emma. He lays a hand on her back and rubs it soothingly._

 _I'm so proud of him in this moment. He's gown to be such a caring young man._

 _Emma, for her part, does not say a word. Her only acknowledgement that Henry is in the room is the pinched look on her face. Her eyes being squeezed even tighter shut._

 _Henry looks up at me and then down at the bed expectedly. I sigh but do as I'm "told."_

 _'Man, I am really whipped by this boy' I think as I lie down on her other side and face her._

 _I am NOT going to hold her like this._

 _But I do put a hand on her arm._

 _I had no intention of falling asleep. Really I didn't. But I was so exhausted by this point that really, it was inevitable._

"'Morning" Henry says as he walks into the kitchen. "Waffles?" He adds excitedly.

"Good Morning." I reply and kiss his head. "Yes, waffles."

"Did you have a good sleep?" He asks with a smirk. I hadn't really thought about it until that moment but he WAS in his own bed this morning and I was not.

"Adequate." I respond. "You could have woken me up so I could sleep in my own room though." I lightly chastise.

"Oh no." He says with a chuckle. "You were comfortable."

The way he says it make me think he is hiding something. However, before I can question him further, a sleepy blonde is wandering into the kitchen.

"Good Morning." She says sheepishly.

I assume that she is embarrassed by last night and try to think of a way to assure her that it was perfectly okay.

"Good Morning." I respond cheerfully. "I have waffles and coffee ready."

"Smells great!" She says more enthusiastically than before.

Breakfast is purposefully light. Henry seems to make it his mission to distract everyone from the elephant in the room.

That's great and works well too…until Henry goes to clean the dishes and it is me and her alone in the dining room.

After the silence starts to stretch, Emma finally speaks.

"So I guess we're bffls now." She says with an awkward chuckle. (Now I know where Henry gets it from.)

"What is a biffl? I say, utterly confused by the word and by this entire line of conversation.

"Bffls" She corrects. Although I don't hear a difference unitl she explains. "It stands for Best Friends For Life."

 _Best_ friends? For _life_? How did this happen?

"I don't think I ever agreed to that." I comment. But it's in a joking manner.

"I don't think it's something you formally agree to." She says thoughtfully. "I think after you commiserate with each other over murders and dead boyfriends, it is just automatic." She says with a self-deprecating smile.

Normally I would fight with her harder about this, but clearly she is trying to lighten the mood, which is something I appreciate at this moment.

"You guys have also already cuddled." Henry says as he walks back in the room. Clearly he had been listening to our conversation the whole time.

"We have not!" I disagree.

"Oh really?" He asks with a smirk. "Then what is this?"

He pulls out his phone and holds it up for us to see. Emma grabs it from him to pull it closer to her face.

Could she not see it? Does the savior need glasses?

The momentary distraction is over when I hear Emma inhale sharply. She seems horrified but highly amused at the same time.

I grab the phone out of her hand and look for myself.

There, on the screen, is a photo of Emma and I. It was clearly taken last night when Henry left the room because it is dark and the only dim light is coming from the hallway.

In the photo, my arm is thrown around the other woman, while Emma's head rests soundly on my chest.

It's not an entirely too compromising position, but it is too intimate for comfort.

If I'm being honest, the photo sends a happy butterfly feeling in my stomach that I can't explain. However, I refuse to dwell on that and turn my feeling outward.

"Delete this!" I demand of my son. I try to figure out how to delete it off his phone myself but he grabs it from my hand.

"Henry Mills!" I say, outranged by his rude behavior.

"Sorry Mom but I like it!" He explains. Clearly he's not sorry at all. "Besides I have already have copies saved elsewhere so deleting it off my phone wouldn't do you any good."

I sigh in frustration. "Show that to no one!" I concede.

"Fine." He agrees grumpily.

Emma seems amused by the whole exchange. She is looking more and more like herself as the morning has progressed.

"Well I guess that is undeniable proof that we are bffls so you might as well admit it." The other woman teases.

"The day I admit that is the day that I get Henry that pet rhinoceros he always wanted." I state.

The word bffl is utterly childish but I can't help but notice the warmth that spreads through me hearing Emma refer to me as her best friend.

I also can't deny the feeling of fear.

I've never had a best friend before. I once called Maleficent my best friend but that could hardly be called a friendship. I've barely had a regular friend. I don't exactly know what a friendship entails.

"A rhino, really?" Emma asks looking at Henry curiously.

"I figured it was the closest thing to a dinosaur as I could get." Henry explains as if it was the most obvious reason in the world.

"Ahh yes, your dinosaur phase." Emma recalls. But then, true to Emma Swan fashion she decides to argue like a petty child with our son about his choice of pet. "That's not true though. You could have picked a crocodile...or hell, even a turkey. Aren't they closely related to dinosaurs?" Emma starts to argue with him.

"They just looked cool! Okay?" Henry says, becoming exasperated. "And I remember you saying that you thought the stegosaurus was cute when we went to the National History Museum."

"When did you go there?" I interject.

They both pause their pettiness to look at me. Emma shifts uncomfortably.

"A few weeks before we came back here actually." Henry answers. Then he seems to feel the tension. "I wish you had been there." He adds.

I try to give him a reassuring smile at his thoughtfulness but I'm sure they can see the stain of it. It's hard to keep up any pretenses to around these two.

"How about we all take a road trip sometime soon and go there." Emma suggests.

"A road trip?" I ask. Really? That's her plan to cheer me up? Sitting in her bug for hours with her again?

"Yeah! That's what bffls do!"

"Haven't we already done that?"

"That didn't count! That was a stressful rescue mission. This will be a fun family trip with our son."

 _Family trip_

"Yeah we should! I could show you my school, and our apartment, and my favorite pizza place!" Henry adds excitedly.

Ahhh geez. Henry. How can I deny the trip now?

"Maybe in a few weeks when you have a school break. " I concede. They both know that means yes, but it makes me feel like less of a pushover.

The trip actually does sound fun. And who knows, maybe Robin and Roland will come and show me what their lives were like in the big city too.


	2. The Nickname

**Hello all!**

 **Yes I did kill off Hook. I know that is probably not following with my goals of being realistic to the show but to me it honestly makes sense. Emma is going through a similar evil progression as Regina did, right? That means she has to have killed someone important to her and the show anyway.**

 **Also as a side note, I will be using italicized passages to represent flashbacks only in this story just so it doesn't get confusing.**

 **Enjoy!**

The next time I see Emma it is almost a week later.

And not for the first time during the week, I notice her absence.

I realized that since Emma's come into my life she has been a near constant. (Excluding the missing year and the few weeks we weren't speaking because of the "Marian" thing.) This is one of the longest periods of time that I had gone without seeing her, at least for a few minutes.

I wonder how she is doing as I sit and wait for my coffee at Granny's on Friday morning.

I don't have to wonder long though because soon the bell is ringing and I spot a familiar flash of red in my peripheral vision.

"Hey Regina! Hey Ruby!" She announces as she comes to stand by the counter next to me.

"Good Morning Miss Swan."

I know I'm supposed to call her Emma now but sometimes it slips out.

And my mind isn't exactly focused as I look at her because the look in her eyes as she talks to me is completely distracting.

It's…relief? She looks at me as if I'm a cold drink of water and she's been dying in the desert heat.

"Regina?" She asks.

She must have said something and I missed it.

Like I said…distracting

"Yes dear?"

She gives a laugh that doesn't seem to have any real joy in it.

"I said that my name is Emma. I also asked you to sit and have breakfast with me." She explains and then eyes the booth in the corner.

She seems fidgety. Like she wants to be hiding and not standing out in the open. I can tell she's only by the counter because I'm here.

I wonder if this is her first outing alone since the darkness was removed?

I really shouldn't stay. I will be late for work if I do. I should let her go to the booth.

But I'm so curious as to how she is holding up, and why she is looking at me like that.

"I can't stay too long." I find myself saying and getting up to sit down across from her at the table she'd been eyeing.

"How have you been?" I come right out and ask once my coffee is placed in front of me.

"Fine" She quickly responds.

I can tell she didn't even think about it. It was clearly an auto-response.

"I've been doing some research." She changes the subject with a smirk on her face.

"Research about what?" The abrupt shift has me confused.

"About biffls." She explains

I roll my eyes.

Has she really done research? I kind of forgot about the whole thing. I thought it was simply a way to make last Sunday less awkward.

"Well, not really research." She continues. "More like Snow has been making me watch a lot of female empowerment movies all week. I think she's trying to distract me while simultaneously giving me a "hope speech" of sorts." She says it with a shrug, as if it isn't clear WHY exactly she would need a hope speech.

"And what did you learn?" I decide to play along.

"I learned that we need to hang out more."

"Hang out?" I question. I don't think I've ever 'hung out' in my life.

"Yeah you know, just spend time together that's not work or saving the entire town. If you're free tonight I was thinking we could have dinner with Henry."

She hasn't really seen Henry much this week. Maybe this is a good idea.

"You just want to have dinner with me tonight so that you can get away from Snow." I accuse.

She gives a guilty smile. "Is it that obvious?" She asks, but doesn't wait for an answer before continuing on. "I love that we've been spending time together this week but it's starting to become suffocating."

"Well I can certainly understand not wanting to spend time with Snow, and I am actually free tonight, so you are more than welcome to come over for dinner."

"Robin not home tonight?" She asks casually.

"He doesn't live with me." I snap.

I didn't mean for it to sound so bitchy. Really I didn't. But I think I had been a little on edge about the subject to begin with before she asked.

Now that everything has settled, Robin and Roland have been spending a lot of time at the mansion. And everything just seems to be…moving too fast.

I'm not use to other people living with me. It's nice not to be so lonely but it's also an adjustment. I still feel like I don't know Robin well enough to want to know his irritating home habits.

I could tell Robin this of course. He is a very understanding person and I know he wouldn't be upset but…it just makes me feel like a bad person.

Shouldn't I WANT to be living with him and starting my happy ending? And although I know Roland has lived outdoors his entire life, it just feels wrong to make him do that now when I have such a huge, comfortable home.

"Um, sorry." Emma says and puts her hands up in surrender.

I sigh. "No it's fine, Robin thought him and Roland needed some bonding time." I don't mention that he had asked Henry if he wanted to go with them and their son declined, claiming that he wanted to spend some time this weekend with Emma.

"Okay, well more pizza for me then!" She says trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm not ordering pizza."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That night I find myself opening the door for the pizza boy.

He is shifting his weight nervously; looking around like he wants to make sure he has the right house.

"Hello, madam mayor."

"Good Evening." I respond.

When he doesn't make a move to say anything I finally ask him how much the pizza is.

"Oh right…it's 24.50"

I give him thirty and tell him to keep the change.

He looks shocked by the tip and keeps staring at me.

I roll my eyes. It's not like I gave him a hundred dollar bill or anything. Or did he expect the Evil Queen would stiff him?

As he hands me the pizza, the infamous yellow bug pulls into the driveway.

If it's possible, the boy's eyes get even wider.

Is he surprised Emma is here? Why? We share a son.

"Hey! Emma calls to her on the path. She has an obnoxious grin on her face. This is the happiest I've seen her since she started first teasing me about bffls. "I knew you would cave and get pizza." She says in a self-satisfied voice once she comes up on the porch.

As soon as she is next to the boy, he blushes and runs back to his car.

"What's with him?" She asks. "He looks like he was staking out the joint."

"He's probably just scared to be talking to me." I explain. I'm use to that problem.

"Nah, everyone knows you're good. Although, I guess you're still intimidating. You ARE a rich, beautiful, mayor." She says and takes the pizza from me to bring it into the kitchen.

The compliment almost makes me blush. But that's stupid. So I refuse to let my face show anything.

"I don't know; he seemed to run away pretty quickly when he saw YOU."

She shrugs and sets the pizza down. "I guess I look different when I'm not so sparkly."

Her attempt at bringing humor to the situation is appreciated. Although I can still tell that she doesn't really find any of it amusing. Her eyes seem to grow colder anytime she mentions her time as the Dark One.

"Hey Ma!" Henry says as he comes into the kitchen. He immediately opens the pizza box and takes a big sniff. "I didn't really think you'd get pizza." He tells me.

"Just because I don't consider pizza a food group doesn't mean that I didn't feed it to you sometimes."

I'm getting tired of the two of them ganging up in me about healthy eating.

"Ooo you got garlic knots too!" He says excitedly and ignores my comment as he peaks into the bag on top of the pizza box.

"Yes, now get plates so we can eat like civilized human beings." I tell him.

"What if we don't want to be humans." Henry says, but starts gathering plates and glasses anyway.

"Yeah" Emma agrees, as we make our way into the dinning room. "What if we want to be Rhinos?" She asks and winks at Henry.

"I am NOT keeping you as a pet if you accidently turn yourself into a Rhino." I deadpan.

It would be so like Emma to magically turn herself into a giant animal.

"That's mean. We're biffls now!" She says with fake indignation as we settle down to eat.

There she goes with that word again.

Henry laughs.

"This seems like a lot of responsibility that I didn't agree to. What else does this position entail?"

"It's not a business contract Regina." Emma says with a shake of her head.

Is she actually frustrated with me about this?

"It just means that we spend time together, have each others backs, you know…a judgment free zone." She stops eating as she thinks. "Basically nothing's changing." She concludes.

I'm a little startled to realize, that it DOES mean nothing is changing.

"Really? That's it?"

I could handle that. In fact, that sounds really nice.

"Well there are other typical best friend traditions." Emma responds.

My eyes narrow.

I knew there was a catch.

"Like what?" I ask nervously.

"Like nicknames!" Henry suggests.

"No." I immediately shoot down.

I didn't exactly appreciate the last nickname I was branded with. But then again, who would when it had the word 'evil' in it.

"I like that idea!" Emma agrees. "How about Queenie."

"What am I a puppy? Absolutely not!" How could she suggest that?

"Fine fine." She says with a chuckle. "How about 'Gina?"

"I like it!" Henry says quickly before you can respond. Once he does I know it's a lost cause arguing. You're stuck with it.

Doesn't mean you can't try anyway. "No, and stop trying to give me a nickname. Regina is informal enough for friends."

"Yes but we're BEST friends." Emma emphasizes. "Which means that I get nickname privileges."

"Alright what will your nickname be then?"

A few less than polite ones are on the tip of my tongue, and I might have even said them if Henry wasn't in the room.

"I think for you that Emma is already a nickname."

"What do you mean?"

"You use to only call me Miss Swan or Sheriff Swan. So calling me Emma is already kind of a nickname for you." She explains.

You suppose she's right. But a very small part of you is disappointed in not being able to pick a name for her as well.

Stupid.

"Plus, you kind of give everyone nicknames." Emma adds.

"They're usually not that nice though." Henry interjects.

"The idiots." Emma says for an example.

"Savior." Henry adds.

They continue this way; volleying names I've called people around.

"Greenie."

"Guyliner"

At that one, Emma flinches slightly but continues.

"Forrest Boy."

"Uncharmmings"

Finally you interrupt them from this game of theirs. "Those are clever, and I wouldn't exactly call them nicknames."

"They are clever…but I still like it when you call me Emma."

Emma it is then.


	3. The Shopping Trip

**I hope you guys are enjoying the story! Please comment and review. I love feedback!**

Knock Knock" I hear someone speak instead of the actual door knocking.

I look up from the pile of paperwork on my desk and see none other than the newly reinstated Sheriff barging into my office.

Typical.

"Yes, Emma?" I ask, as I look down at the growing pile again.

"Hello to you too." She says as she sits across from me.

I decide to give her my full attention for the moment. I know she won't leave until I do anyway.

For some reason I'm tempted to keep looking down, just to see if I'm right…

"Hello Emma. What can I do for you today?" I ask in a much more pleasant tone.

"I just wanted to see what you were up to." She says and shrugs.

It looks to me as if she's trying desperately to act casual despite her underlying jitters.

The shaking of her foot gives her away.

"Well as you can see, I'm working." I respond. I point to the paperwork on the desk between us.

"Ahhh." She says but does not elaborate, nor move to get up from the chair.

"Did you need anything else?"

"No…"

Her unsure tone really gets my attention now. What is she so skittish about today?

I continue to stare at her, knowing she will eventually succumb to the look and tell me what's wrong.

"I just...It's my first day off since I started back up at work. I don't really know what to do with myself." She admits.

Ahhh. This makes sense. She is restless. And more than likely has too much time alone to think. She probably use to spend her days off during the week with Hook. (I never did understand how he could get by for so long without a job. No doubt he had enough stolen merchandise on that ship to last him while.)

Whatever my feelings, I understand were Emma is coming from right now. From personal experience, I know how detrimental too much time thinking alone can be.

"So you decided to pay me a visit?"

"Yeah, I was hoping I could convince you to ditch work and hang out with me." She seems to remember her purpose here and perks up.

"Ditch?" I ask with distain for the phrase.

"Yeah, it's like a best friend tradition."

More friend traditions.

"What, do you have a list written down of all these best friend activities that you are checking off one by one?"

I'm joking of course, when I ask, but as soon as it comes out of my mouth I wonder if maybe this is true.

Clearly neither of us has had a real best friend before. Maybe Emma is forcing all of these activities and traditions on them because she is trying to figure out how to act in this situation just as much as I am.

I remember our "Family" dinner at the Chanrmings' house this past weekend.

 _Henry and I were already sitting next to each other at the table as the others gathered around. Just as Robin was about to take the other chair next to mine, Emma shoos him away playfully._

 _"As Regina's biffl, I deem that I sit next to her at family dinners." She announces._

 _Of course everyone (but Henry, who snickers) is highly confused by the phrase. And Emma continues to explain to them what it means._

 _"But I'm her soulmate?" Robin counters, even as he takes the chair across from me instead._

 _"Yes, but really all that means is that you're her boyfriend. And the first rule in the girl code is that your friends come before your boyfriend. Because relationships come an go but biffls are for life." She explains to him as she starts serving herself._

 _Snow looks more upset by Emma's rant than Robin does however._

 _"I thought we were best friends?" Snow accuses Emma._

 _Emma looks uncomfortable. I can almost see how hard it is still for Emma to separate the Mary Margret, her roommate from Snow, her mom._

 _"Don't do that Mom. You know I love you. It's just…different now. We're still close though." She tries to assure her mom._

 _It's an almost intimate conversation that I wished I didn't have to watch. I'm just a little shocked and relieved to find that nobody objected to just WHO Emma claimed her biffl to be._

The memory makes me almost want to ditch work.

Almost.

" A mental one." Emma admits to the checklist with a laugh. "So will you?"

"I'm afraid I can't. I've missed a lot of work these last few weeks. Well months really. I have a lot to catch up on."

"Oh come on Regina. You have this town running like a well-oiled machine. It practically runs itself." She compliments.

"As flattering as that is, I still have work to catch up on. I don't like to miss unless something important happens, or Henry needs me."

"Well let's do something for Henry then." Emma suggests. She's not about to let this idea go. "He needs new cloths and stuff right? We should go shopping for him."

"I never took you for a shopping kind of girl." I try to deflect because really, I'm about two seconds away from caving in and ditching work with her.

Dam her for bringing up Henry.

"I never was." She admits with a laugh. "Never had the money, and then when I did, I never wanted things to tie me down. " She explains. "But this is different. This would be for Henry. Plus…"

"Plus what?" I ask curious despite myself.

"Plus, going shopping together would totally check off another best friend activity." She smirks.

I'm a goner.

Two hours later and I find myself in the middle of a department store searching for shirts that will fit my ever-growing son.

He's older now and likes to pick out his own clothes but he also really hates shopping, and is always happy when I come home with items I know he'll wear.

"Regina, come here!" I hear Emma shout from a few aisles over. I peak my head up and can see that she is holing up a shirt to look at it.

"What is it?" I still can't see the shirt as I walk over, but as I ask she moves out of the way so that I can see she is in front of two racks that hold matching shirts.

One is a female-cut shirt and reads 'I love my Prince.' The other is a male shirt and reads 'I love my princess.'

"We need these." Emma says in a completely serious tone.

In what universe would they need these hideous shirts?

"I wasn't aware that being best friends meant we needed to start dressing like your parents." I let the confusion seep into my voice. "And unlike you, I am neither a Prince nor a Princess." I remind her in my most queenly voice.

She just laughs at me.

The nerve.

"I meant we should both get the female one…Or at least you should." She corrects herself suddenly self conscious. "You call Henry your Prince right? I thought we could wear them and embarrass him."

The thought of Henry being Emma's prince sends an expected wave of jealously though me. That nickname is THEIR thing. Mine and Henry's only.

Except that he IS literally Emma's prince. I remind myself sternly.

"And why would I want to embarrass our son?"

"Isn't that like a mother's job?" Emma asks and she riffles through the shirt for the right sizes as if I've already agreed to buy one.

I say nothing as she attempts to hand me a shit. I refuse to take it.

It really is hideous.

"Come one Regina. Let's at least put them on and take a picture." Emma practically begs.

"Why would I want proof that I wore that awful shirt?"

"Because…Henry still has that picture of us cuddling. You could use this picture as blackmail of your own to make sure he doesn't show it to anyone." Emma explains with a triumphant smile. It's as if she's pretending this was her whole reason for wanting them in the first place.

It is tempting.

"Fine." I snap and grab the shirt out of her hand. "But if we're doing this, we're making it good."

Emma follows me to the dressing room and I faintly hear her mutter "yes your majesty."

I roll my eyes, but it's mostly at myself since I know she can't see it with my back turned. How is it that she keeps getting me to agree to do things that I originally say no to?

Ten minutes later I find myself starting at my phone screen with Emma peaking over my shoulder.

"That's a great photo!" She exclaims happily.

It is kind of great. Although I'd never admit it. Her smile is radiant and my face looks much more relaxed than I've ever seen it in a photo.

"You should send it to me."

"And why would I do that. The point was blackmail remember?"

"Awe, you mean you don't want to make a scrapbook together?" Emma asks with a fake pout.

"Is that also on your list?"

How many items are ON this list of hers? Enough to fill a lifetime? That's what the L stands for right?

"It should be!" She says with a laugh and goes into her dressing room to change.

I change my clothes too. And before I can change my mind, I quickly text the picture to Emma.

As I'm sending the text, I notice that it is nearly time to meet Henry, Robin and Roland, at the diner for dinner.

"I have to get going." I say when she walks out.

"Okay. Where you heading off too?" She doesn't sound like she's trying to pry. Just simple curiosity. So I tell her. At the last second I add "You could join us if you want."

She looks conflicted for a moment and then shakes her head no. "I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be." I try to assure her. I don't know why I feel the need to push her into coming.

"No, it's really okay. Thanks for inviting me though. And thanks for playing hooky with me today."

"Yes, well we were at least productive."

She just shakes her head and laughs, as if what I said was amusing to her.

"Bye Gina." She says with a smirk.

"That's not my name!" I shout. But I find that I sound more exasperated than angry and she's already running off so I don't expect her to listen anyway.

That night I find myself looking at the photo more than once.


	4. The Road Trip

**Hey everyone! So last night's episode totally threw a wrench in the plans I had for this story. However, I really like where I'm going with this and I don't want to change it too much so the story will go pretty AU from here. I'll still try to incorporate updated information if I can but...we'll see.**

 **Also the song in this chapter is Alanis Morissette's "hand in my pocket." I figured since Emma was an angsty teen in the 90s she probably liked her music. As always I don't own any content, including the music.**

How did my life get like this.

Staring into the beautiful blue eyes of my newborn niece fills me with so many conflicting emotions.

I can't blame Zelena for wanting to run away with the baby, but I'm glad she didn't.

I'm also glad Emma didn't kill Zelena.

Or at least I'm trying to convince myself that I'm glad of these things.

I haven't seen Robin much because of the baby. Being here now with him and Zelena and Roland, I've never felt like such an outsider.

This baby is so innocent and beautiful, and I know deep in my heart that being with both her parents is what is best for her. I tried my best to convince Zelena that forcing a child to love and rely on only you never ends well. I would know. And I think she's starting to understand that.

The thought of possibly becoming a step-mother eventually to another little girl though has my stomach in knots.

Is she going to call me Aunt Regina? Or just Regina? I can't imagine, even if Robin and I did some day get married, that Zelena would ever allow her to give me a motherly title.

This is so fucked up.

"Hey." I jump slightly in my chair when I feel a hand on my arm.

It's Henry.

A part of me is relieved that I don't have to deal with this girls parents right now, as they are talking in the other room.

Another part of me is slightly upset that Robin didn't come look for me himself.

"Hello dear." I say and give him a small smile. He wanted to spend time with his new cousin today.

"She's cute." He says as he looks down at the now sleeping child.

"Yes, she is." You can freely admit that.

"You okay?" He asks you after a few moments.

I'm scared and happy that he can read my emotions so well.

"Just…overwhelmed." Yeah, I guess that's a good way to describe the conflict I feel.

"I think you need a vacation." He says with a laugh. "You know, leaving Storybrooke for a reason other than being on some special mission."

I laugh too. "That sounds lovely."

"How about we take that trip to New York, next weekend. It's a three day weekend because they are having some teacher conference." He suggests.

"Ask Emma if she's free." I agree quicker than he expected.

The thought of getting away from Storybrooke is sounding better and better.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A week later I find myself in the passenger seat of the yellow bug with just as many conflicting feelings as the week before.

A part of me feels like I am just running away from my problems.

But to run away from your problems, you first have to admit that there IS a problem…which I have refused to do.

Fortunately, the car ride is an excellent distraction. Henry and Emma have kept up a constant stream of chatter. On the rare occasions they aren't talking, I've been blessed enough to be serenaded by two of the worst singers on the planet.

"I'm lost but I'm hopeful ba-by. What it all comes down to…Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine. 'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving a high five." They both practically scream the lyrics.

It really is shrill, and Emma would NEVER have made it as a real Disney princess with that voice. I tell her as much, but she seems almost proud of the fact.

I can't really blame her. It's not like Disney has done me any favors.

As much as I want them to stop though, I can't find it in myself to make them. I truly haven't seen Emma smile this much in a long time. I am a little uncomfortable by how much I care about that fact.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Until now, I've been having a wonderful time pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist. We've been to their old neighborhood, Central Park (including the zoo), Time Square, and Rockefeller Center.

It's been busy and wonderful and of course that means that I have to be pulled back down by fate and other nonsense.

We're at the theater when I see it.

I bought tickets that morning for us to see Phantom of the Opera. Emma joked that we should have seen Wicked but really the whole point is to not think about my sister and her baby so I shut that idea right down. They don't understand my insistence and I don't explain but Phantom is a classic and so no one objects.

Henry had just left us to go to the bathroom. Emma decided to open all her candy now, so as to avoid making noise during the show.

"Want a piece?" She asked and held out an Apollo chocolate bar in front of me. I looked down at the bar, trying to decide. And that's when I see it.

Her tattoo.

I don't know why it comes as such a shock that she has one. But I reflexively grab her wrist to get a better look. How had we gone so many years without me knowing she had a tattoo? It doesn't look new either. I guess her bracelets usually cover it?

"Um Regina?"

"Sorry…when did you get this?" I asked, indicating with my eyes what I'm talking about.

"Oh!" She says and laughs. "A long time ago. Like right before I met Neil."

"It's the same flower that's on your family crest." I point out.

She chuckled again and I finally looked up. "Yeah I know. That made a fun conversation with my mom. I was only getting use to the idea that I was part of a family, let alone a magical one that had their own crests." She then shook her head, presumably at the ridiculous nature of our lives.

"Robin's tattoo is on your crest too…" I said quietly. Not really realizing I spoke aloud at all until Emma responded.

"Oh yeah, the lion." At this point it seems like nothing can faze her. "Weird coincidence."

"Don't you know by now…nothing's a coincidence." I reminded her.

"Oh right, the fate thing." She said and rolls her eyes. I think our habits have been rubbing off on her.

Just then Henry comes back and squeezes himself through the aisle. It's only then that I realized that I was still holding her wrist and promptly let go.

Now, there is a nagging at my brain. I can't quite figure out why the coincidence is bothering me so much but I can't stop comparing the two tattoos in my mind.

The show blissfully starts and washes away all remaining thoughts on the matter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We decide to go out for breakfast the lat day of our trip.

Emma and Henry both claim that the best breakfast is this tiny place in the East Village. The catch is that you have to get there super early in order to beat all the foot traffic, or else you end up with no place to sit.

This fortunately suits our needs anyway, because we have a long drive back home to start.

I'm surprised by how quaint and…livable this area NYC is. It is pretty peaceful at six am too.

"You gotta get one of the specialty egg sandwiches mom!" Henry yells as they enter.

"Your son seems to know what he wants, how about you Moms?" the cashier asks with a smile.

We order our food and are lucky enough to grab a table because as soon as we do, the expected morning rush arrives.

It's only as I'm eating that I wonder how the cashier knew to assume we were both Henry's mothers.

After an admittedly delicious breakfast, we decide to take the long walk back to their apartment.

Henry runs along ahead of us, claiming that we go too slow.

I'm worried about him in the city, but Emma assures me that he knows the way home. And he never really leaves our line of sight.

"So…" I hear Emma drag out the word beside me.

I raise my eyebrow but let her finish her thought.

"Robin couldn't come?" She asks cautiously.

She must have noticed my lack of mentioning him on this trip. I'm surprised she waited so long to ask.

"This is a family trip. And Robin has his own family to worry about." It comes out sounding more bitter than I intended, but then again, I had not intended to answer at all.

"Okay...you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Because really, how could talking to Emma about any of this help?

"Well if you do, I'm here." She sounds almost relieved that I don't want to talk about it though. Clearly she only feels the need to ask because it's part of her definition of what a bffl should do.

Still, it was nice of her to offer.


	5. The Cinema

**I was able to write a lot this week so yay new chapter.**

 **In this chapter there is a reference to the movie** ** _Beaches_** **staring Bette Middler and Barbara Hershey. I thought this would be ironic since Barbara Hershey plays Cora on** ** _Once Upon a Time._** **If you haven't seen the movie all you need to know is that it is about two women who are seemingly opposites and share a strong friendship. I do not claim to own any rights to this movie or to** ** _Once Upon a Time._**

"Mom, a few kids in my class are going to Granny's tonight. Can I go?" Henry asks as he walks into her office after school.

"Hello Sweetheart, and sure. Do you need a ride there?" I give permission as he sits down in front of me.

"Nah Paige is going so I'll just walk over with her. What are you doing tonight? Is Robin coming over?"

"No, he's with the Merry Men tonight. Apparently they become restless if they are without a leader or a mission for too long." I say, and notice that Henry and I roll our eyes at the same time.

It makes my heart soar a little.

"I feel bad leaving you alone." He responds after a few moments.

"I'm use to being alone Henry it's okay." It's true but that doesn't make me feel any better saying it out loud.

"You should call Emma." He suggests.

"I'm sure your other mother already has plans for tonight."

"Oh Please, she's been kind of a recluse lately. She basically hangs out with us and Grandma and Grandpa."

It is true. She barely sees Emma out in the town anywhere. The blonde had been coming to their home for dinner often though. (Always when it's just Henry and me.) She has even insisted on staying after a few times so that she can expose me to the wonders of "girlfriend" movies as she likes to call them. I am loath to admit that while most of them are silly, some a quite good. I even teared up while watching _Beaches_ last week. Emma had noticed but instead of teasing me like I had expected she simply scoffed and said "They're not so great. They got nothing on us." I was surprised by the statement but I had to agree, that their problems seemed relevantly small compared to ours.

"So are you going to call her?" Henry questions and shakes me out of my thoughts. "She is your biffl after all." He adds with a smirk.

"Not you too." I practically moan. It's an unbecoming sound, but I couldn't help it.

He laughs at my obvious discomfort. "Why do you hate being called that so much? Sure it's silly, but it's kind of nice right? Knowing that you have someone who genuinely likes spending time with you and who's always going to be around."

I know he's thinking of Violet and it hurts me to see him upset. I reach out and run my fingers though his hair. Which I notice is in need of a haircut. But much to my guilt, my mind is only half focused on Henry. The other half of my mind is pondering over his description.

It's not the first time I've been told what it means but for some reason the way that Henry described the friendship seems to really have hit a nerve. The way he so wistfully said it too made me realize that this type of friendship is something to be longed for. It's a special thing that not everyone has.

Is Emma really going to always be around though? I've lost too many people to trust that she will.

'If she's anything like the rest of the Charmings than she'll never die.' I think a little ruefully. 'And as long as Henry is around, we will both be around.' I remind myself a little less spitefully.

"It is." I finally admit. " I'll call her when we get home."

He smiled at me and said nothing more as he began his homework.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I really could have called her while we were in the office. I probably should have while I still had the momentum of the revelation to do so. Yet, there is something about making a personal phone call that feels so…personal.

Phones are certainly interesting inventions. Emails too. They remind me of writing letters in the Enchanted Forrest. You had to be extra careful about what you say because you couldn't take social cues that having a face to face conversation would provide.

So once we got home and Henry ran upstairs to get ready, I made my way into my home office to call the blonde.

"Hey Gina, what's up." She says when she picks up after the second ring.

"Hello Emma. How is work?" I cordially begin.

"Ugh." She states which results in me giving an unexpected and short laugh. "Someone stole a bunch of stuff from Gold's shop this morning."

"Really?" I'm intrigued now. How had I not heard about this? Someone stealing magical items cannot be a good thing.

"Yeah. they both seem to think the objects are unrelated since the perp just cleared out one whole shelf in the room. It looks to me like they don't have a plan for the actual objects yet."

"Maybe they only needed one item but taking only that item would be make it easier for us to find out what their plan is." I ponder.

"Maybe..." She says thinking over the possibility. It doesn't sound like she's convinced though. "So anyway, how are you? Did you need something?" She says getting herself back on track.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight." Straight to the point. No reason to needlessly prolong the conversation any longer.

"That sounds great but I don't get off until 8 and I'm sure you and Henry will have eaten by then."

I'm disappointed but the regretful tone she uses makes me feel slightly better.

"Actually Henry is leaving me tonight to spend time with his friends. "

I don't know why I feel the need to tell her this. I should have just told her we'd have dinner another time and gotten off the phone.

"Oh…well I could come over after work if you still wanted to hang out." She offers. "We could even try to get out of the house and go see a movie or something."

"Okay." I find myself replying without any forethought.

"Cool. Pick a movie and then let me know what time I should come get you."

"You're letting me choose the movie for once?" I ask in mock astonishment.

"Hey! I let you choose the movie last week!"

"You let me choose between the two DVDs you had brought over. I'd hardly call that letting me decide."

"Yeah Yeah just pick a movie." She grumbles but I can almost see the smile on her face. "I have to go back to work."

"See you tonight."

"See you later."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When she picks me up at it's already 8.30. So of course I give her a hard time.

"Calm down, Gina." She says while pulling out of my driveway. "When they say the movie starts at 8:45, they actually mean that that is when the previews start."

"I happen to enjoy the previews." I respond. I'm not saying that just to argue either. Well, not entirely. I actually do like watching the previews.

"I'm learning more and more about you everyday." She jokes.

"Yes, well I'm full of surprises."

"I know." She says and gives me a small smile. "Like you asking me to hang out tonight." She adds.

"Why was that so surprising?" I ask.

"Well you've never invited me to hang out before." She points out.

'That's not true!"

"Yes it is." She says, but she's still smiling about it so I know she's not too upset by this fact. "Sure you've invited me to dinners with Henry but this is the first time you've asked to me hang out alone."

Looking back on it. I can see it's true. I just felt uncomfortable with progressing the friendship until Henry pushed me this afternoon.

I'm saved from responding for a moment as we arrive and get out of the car.

"Well I had to." I finally jokingly explain. "I'm sure it was on that imaginary list of yours."

"Going to the movies was also!" She agrees as we get to the counter.

I go to pay for the tickets and she tries to stop me.

"I can at least pay for myself." she insists.

"Nonsense, I invited you out tonight." I swat her hand away.

"But I suggested we go to the movies." She says and pulls out her wallet.

"But you drove." I remind her and grab the money out of her hand.

Finally the cashier interrupts us with his laughing.

Emma and I both give him dirty looks and he shuts right up again.

"Hey aren't you the pizza delivery kid?" She asks him.

I hadn't noticed but it does look like the same teen.

His nametag says Trevor.

"Yeah…I got fired from that job. But I've been working here ever since." He explains sheepishly.

I use her momentary distraction to pay for the tickets.

"Tough break kid." She says. "This job seems cool though."

"Yeah, it's pretty good. I get to see free movies." He answers and hands me the tickets. "It's usually pretty quiet here too. Tonight especially, even though it's date night." He says are eyes us knowingly.

"I would say I'm surprised but this is Storybrooke." Emma laughs.

"Well that's good. It will be less crowded for us." I say dismissively. The teen gives me a wary feeling and I feel no need to prolong the conversation. "Come along Emma." I say and grab her wrist.

She looks momentarily confused but then shakes her head while looking at me.

"Thanks." She says once she realized I had paid.

"You can thank me by finally getting into the theater."

"But I want snacks." She says, stopping and pulling her wrist away.

"Of course you do."

"Hey, I didn't have dinner."

"And you think movie theater snacks are the healthy alternative?"

"I'm hungry."

"Fine, I will meet you in there."

The cashier wasn't kidding when he said it was quiet tonight. The theater is absolutely empty when I walk in. It's actually pretty nice.

By the time I pick the perfect seat, right in the middle, Emma is strolling in with a giant bucket of popcorn and an also giant slushie.

"Want some? I got you an extra straw." She says as she puts the slushie into the arm-rest between us.

"I've never actually had one." I admit. I want to dismiss the idea completely, but the thought of being able to try it without having to have bought it myself is compelling.

"You should! It's the best movie treat."

"What flavor is it?" I ask while I pick up the drink.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Red?" She responds.

My face must not seem amused because she adds. "I think it said cherry. Although it doesn't taste like any cherry I've ever had."

I take a tentative sip and the syrup goes straight to my mouth and I pull away fast. "Much too sweet. " I say and try to hand it back to her.

Emma chuckles. "You have to lift the straw a little before you take a sip. All the syrup settles at the bottom."

This time I take her advice, and while it's still very sweet, the crushed ice definitely helps level out the flavor.

"Less sweet. But still not something I would ever order."

The previews begin and I settle in to watch them. Emma hands me the popcorn and this I don't dismiss.

Popcorn is wonderful.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Emma is still ranting about the movie on the car ride home.

"You're just trying to use this movie's poor quality as an excuse to be allowed to pick the next one." I accuse.

"Maybe." She admits. "Although I am still little surprised that you picked a Drama."

"What did you think I'd pick?" I ask curiously.

"I never really thought about it. I guess I should just be happy it wasn't a horror film."

"Real life has enough horror." I explain.

"Are you saying your real life doesn't have enough drama?"

"No, quite the opposite. The difference is that watching other people's drama tends to make me feel better about my own."

"I get that." She says thoughtfully.

After that we arrive back at the mansion and Emma walks with me to the door.

"Did you want to come in?" I ask. I was tried and I wasn't planning on inviting her in but she is standing here and it seems rude not to. It's not like I would really mind if she did anyway.

"No, I should probably go. I have to go over and babysit Neil tomorrow morning." She explains.

"Okay, I will see you soon then."

"Yeah, thanks again for the movie." She says, and I'm about to turn around when she reaches out and gives me a quick hug. "Good night." She says as she pulls away, and makes her way down the path.

I stand there silently until Henry opens the front door behind me.

"How was your night?" He asks immediately upon seeing me.

"Very good."

And it was.


	6. The Consolation

**1\. Thank you everyone for all the follows, favorites, and reviews so far! I love hearing responses to the story!**

 **2\. I think most of you have been waiting for what happens in this chapter to to happen so I hope you're not disappointed!**

 **3\. Yes, there is a Candy Land board game reference in here. I had a video game about it as a child and Queen Frostine was one of my favorite characters.**

As the deep purple smoke disappears, I plop unceremoniously onto my bed.

Screw it if my dress gets wrinkled! It's not like anyone is here to see it! No one is ever here!

I really need to stop with the self-pity. Lying here numb to my sorrows can't be healthy.

I guess it's better than blind rage though. I'm surprised I was able to come back from that earlier.

 _"What the Hell is going on here?!"_

 _Robin sprang back from Zelena's grasp. Zelena, for her part, remained standing as if nothing had happened; as if Regina didn't just find them kissing in the middle of the public park!_

 _"Regina!" Robin yells. He has that shocked and confused look on his stupid face. "It's not what it looks like." He continues running up to me. "Zelena kissed ME I swear."_

 _He tries to put his hand on my arm but I quickly shake it off and stalk toward my sister._

 _"Why is that not surprising?!"_

 _I can feel the magic crackling at my fingertips._

 _Zelena simply picks up her daughter calmly from the stroller and cradles her in her arms. The only indication of her knowing I'm there is the smirk on her face._

 _She's literally using her baby as a human shield. Wow._

 _"Regina." Robin says and this time does grab my arm to pull me away._

 _"Don't touch me!" I practically growl._

 _"Please Regina can we go somewhere else and talk about this." He pleads but takes his hands off me._

I bury my face into my pillow, in the hopes that it will block the images that keep replaying in my head.

It's a fruitless effort.

 _"I understand that you're upset Regina, but there's no need to be." Robin says once they are alone. He's staying annoyingly calm._

 _"It's not exactly like you were pushing her away in disgust!" I'm still yelling but the hurt is slowly breaking through instead of the anger._

 _"Regina…" He gives me an exasperated look._

 _Even in my angry state I know Robin wouldn't have willingly betrayed me like that to Zelena. I'm not an idiot and I know how manipulative she can be. However the fact that it happened at all is upsetting. Why can't he see that?_

 _"Is it always going to be like this?" I finally ask, defeated._

 _"Like what?" Dumb, confused look again. God how did I not notice he was as stupid as the Charmings?_

 _"Our entire relationship people have been trying to pull us apart. There has been everything stacked against us. I understand that it was mostly myself in the beginning, but now? Are we always going to have to fight to stay together? I know relationships aren't easy, but should they really be this hard?" I plead._

 _"But we're soul-mates." He says and wraps me in a hug. "It means that no matter what, we were meant to be."_

 _I let myself enjoy the hug for only a few moments before I pull back._

 _"I'm starting to think those words don't really mean anything. Soul Mate…True Love…even Fate. It's all just a way for us to feel better about the choices we've made in life." I swallow down my pride and continue talking. "When I had thought it was me who had killed Marian, I tried to justify it by saying it was all fate. I was destined to do that or else I wouldn't have found you. I know now how horrible that thinking is. Fate doesn't make up for free will. If those rules apply to the bad decisions we've made…shouldn't it apply to the good ones too?"_

 _"I suppose." He furrows his brow thoughtfully. "What do you want to do with your free will then?"_

 _"I don't know. I don't think we should continue forcing this" I point between us. "just because of pixie dust though."_

 _"Are we breaking up?"_

 _"I think for now that would be best."_

The ringing of a phone wakes me from my sleep. It's dark outside my windows. Somewhere along the line I must have fallen asleep only to continue dreaming about the days events.

The phone ringing again reminds me why I am awake now.

I seriously consider not picking it up. However, with the track record this town has, I wouldn't be surprised if someone was actually dying.

I grab the cell phone out of my blazer pocket (which I had never taken off) and immediately answer without even looking at who's calling.

"Hello?" I sound a little dead but nothing too horrific.

"Hey Gina, what's wrong?" Of course it's Emma. Of course it's the one person who would immediately sense something was the matter.

I let out a great sigh.

"Don't try to tell me nothing either. Nobody, including Henry, has heard from you all day." Emma continues before I can answer.

She's right, I would have dismissed her concerns.

Maybe I shouldn't though. Things have been different between us for a while now. Perhaps it was the casual hug, or the fact that I had finally invited her somewhere for once, but after that first night at the movies out friendship as been easy. It's not surprising that she would be concerned that I haven't talked to her all day, because most days I do.

"Hello? You're really staring to concern me now Regina." She says when I still haven't responded.

I give another sigh.

"Robin and I broke up."

I was a simple sentence. Yet saying the words out loud made the reality of them crash down on me. I hadn't cried all day but suddenly the air feels too tight in my chest.

"I'll be right over."

Another simple sentence, but the words felt like they had so much hidden meaning.

"You don't have-" I start to protest but she cuts me off.

"I'll be there in five." She says and hangs up.

I turn my face into the pillow again.

I should probably look more presentable than this when she gets here. But even though my brain knows that, my body doesn't seem to be responding to the command to get out of bed.

I'm still internally arguing when I hear a knock at the front door. I slowly lift my head thinking I'll have to answer it eventually, when suddenly I hear a knock at my bedroom door instead.

Did she let herself into my house?

Another knock, this time accompanied by a hesitant "Regina?"

It doesn't escape me that this situation is very similar to what happened after Emma brought back "Marian". The same feelings of hurt and sadness and betrayal are there. Only this time they aren't directed toward the blonde on the other side of the door.

This time, I will let her in.

Slowly I rise from the bed. Patting down my hair as I reach for the door.

As soon as the door is opened I am encompassed in a tight hug.

I could fight it. I really could. But I don't want to.

A few long, comforting minutes pass. It's nice to be held. Especially by a soft, strong body. Still, I do not cry. Actually, the need to do so seems to have lessened a great deal.

When I feel Emma pulling away slowly, and I know my peace is over. Soon there will be questions to answer and reality to face. She simply looks at me with eyes full of concern though.

"We need ice-cream." She finally states.

"What?" I was expecting some trite remark that was intended to make me feel better…not the conclusion of a treat.

"Ice-cream. Let's go." She says and fully lets go of me.

"Emma it's" I look over at the alarm clock "almost 11:30 at night!" Wow. Had I really slept that long!

"So?" She counters with a raised eyebrow.

"Everything is closed!"

She simply scoffs at my logic and asks if I'm ready.

"Let me change first."

"Why it's not like you're in pajamas?" She asks and waves a hand over my form.

"Yes but it's not like my clothes are in the best of shape either."

"It's 11:30, no one will see you." She throws my logic back at me.

"Fine." I concede and follow her out to the car.

Once we arrive on main street she pulls over and we walk the remaining few feet to the ice-cream shop.

It's the first time I've been here since they changed owners. "Candy Land" the candy store next door had decided to take over the shop after the Snow Queen had left it abandoned. Now there is a fancy new "Frostine's Frosty Treats" sign out front.

"I told you it would be closed." I say once we arrive outside of the dark shop.

In fact, everywhere is closed by midnight on a Tuesday. Even the Rabbit Hole.

Emma looks at me and smirks. I don't like that gleam in her eyes right now.

She suddenly grabs my arm and we disappear in a cloud of grey smoke.

We re-appear on the other side of the door and Emma promptly lets me go and walks behind the counter.

"Really Emma? We're breaking into an ice-cream shop?" I say looking around.

"Technically we didn't break anything." She answers smartly.

"This is unethical you know?" I remark and cross my arms. "I may be having a bad influence on you."

"Oh please." She says and rolls her eyes. "People in this town seem to forget that I wasn't this perfect savior before I arrived here. I was stealing things long before I met you. Besides, I was fully intending on leaving money and a note behind so really what's the harm?" She says as she pulls her hair into a pony tail and rolls up her sleeves. "It's not like we're going to get into trouble. Who would she tell? The sheriff? The mayor?" She smirks.

"I hope you're not teaching our child that logic. I think he's had enough bed influences on his life already."

She simply gives me a playful glare and asks "Cup or cone?"

"Cone" I answer. If we're already here I might as well play along and get some ice-cream.

"What flavor?" She asks as she grabs two waffle cones from the jar.

I walk closer and inspect the case.

"Red Velvet" I finally decide.

She gives an approving nod and puts two generous scoops onto the cone before handing it to me. Then she serves herself the same amount of Rocky Road.

"Whip Cream?" She asks. When I shake my head no she puts a hand over her heart as if my answer pained her. Then she puts a generous helping on her own stack. Finally she walks from the counter. We take the up-turned chairs off a table in the front and sit down.

"It's dark." She remarks casually.

I swish my hand and suddenly the low lights from behind the counter turn on. I could turn on more lights but there is something peaceful about sitting in the semi-darkness, eating ice cream with Emma.

"So is the ice-cream making you feel better?" She finally inquires after a few moments of silent eating.

I find that I DO feel better. Although it's not the ice cream itself but the distraction it has provided. I had honestly forgotten about today's events for awhile. I suspect that was the other woman's intention all along.

"Yes." I admit.

"Good…so do you want to talk about it?" She asks hesitantly. It's the same as when she asked in New York. Clearly she isn't comfortable with talking about feelings- hers or others.

I understand this trait. If you don't want to share your feelings, than you can't ask other people to share theirs.

I sigh. "There is nothing to really talk about. Yet another of my relationships has failed."

She looks at me for a long time. It appears as if she is searching my face for something. What that something is though is a mystery to me.

"You'll be okay." She finally says with complete confidence.

"What makes you say so?" I'm a little floored by her tone.

"Don't you think you will be?" She answers my question with a question of her own.

I pause. It's true that I already feel so much better now than I thought I could this afternoon.

"Yes" I respond hesitantly. "I don't really know why but it doesn't hurt as much as the last time I lost him. Maybe it's because the last time I felt like he was taken from me where this time I let him go? Or maybe it's because I didn't loose him forever? We are still on good terms…there is always the possibility of finding each other again. Rebuilding from the start this time."

"Would you want that?" She asks.

"Right now? No." I take a deep breath. "I had caught Zelena and him kissing." I hear Emma's intake of breath. "That's what started this whole thing."

"He seriously didn't choose her over you, did he?!" I look up into her face. The tone is one that's bordering on rage.

"No." I shake my head and put my hand on hers to calm her down. It's nice that someone would get upset for me though. "He didn't have to though. I hate my sister for doing this…but I almost feel like I should let them have a chance. I was willing to give him up when I thought she was Marian because they had a family together. Why shouldn't that same logic apply here now that we know it's Zelena? They still have a family together."

Emma says nothing but shakes her head and squeezes my hand.

"They seemed happy enough in New York." I muse.

"That was a false happiness. One based on magic and lies. It's not the same…I should know."

"Yes, but was the happiness you felt not true? Could you not go back to that happy time with Henry if you had to? You certainly wanted to at one point." I remind her.

"I see your point." She says and looks down. I assume she's a little ashamed at wanting to take Henry away from me again.

We sit in silence after that. I put my head in my hand and try to convince myself that I did the right thing. "He is supposed to be my soul-mate." I mumble to myself in disbelief.

"Was it worth it?" Emma inquires a few moments later.

"Was what worth it?" I ask, confused by the abrupt subject change.

"You know the old saying 'It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?'" She asks. When I give my confirmation she continues. "Archie had asked me last week if loving Killian had been worth it; if I regretted it because in the end it caused me more pain. That's what I'm asking you. Do you regret the relationship?"

"No." I find myself saying without thought.

She gives me a small smile. "Maybe you're not soul-mates? Maybe you are. Maybe being someone's soul-mate doesn't mean you have to be in a romantic relationship with them? You don't have to be romantically involved to be true loves." She reasons. "Maybe he just needed to come into your life for a specific reason."

'He did open my heart back up to the possibility of a relationship.' I ponder the possibility in my head.

I sigh and get up to throw the rest of my ice-cream away. It's a bit of a waste that I only ate half but it's been dripping down my hand without me noticing for the last few minutes anyway.

"Ready to go?" She asks while cleaning off the table. "I would suggest a sleep-over tonight but we both have to work in the morning and I want our first official best friend sleep-over to be done right."

I can't help the small smile that dances across my lips.

"Can't wait." I respond. It doesn't even sound as sarcastic as it normally would.

When I turn back, Emma has already put the chairs back on the table. Her back is to me. From this perspective I can see how beaten down she is. Her shoulders seem to sag more than they use to.

Sometimes it's hard to remember all her own pain she must be dealing with. When we're spending time together she appears to be quite joyful and teasing but times like this remind me that she is still going through a lot.

"Emma?"

She turns at her name and I step closer.

"You're going to be okay too." I say just as confidently as she did.

She gives me a tight smile.


	7. The Sleepover

**Yay 50+ followers! Seriously guys, thanks!**

 **Also, I know I've been interchanging the spelling from biffl to bffl. My intention is to only use the first one during actual dialogue but mistakes can happen.**

 **As always, I hope you enjoy!**

"I would suggest we play truth or dare but I have a feeling you'd shut that idea down right away." Emma breaks my surprising amount concentration for the task at hand.

"You would be right." I say without even looking up.

"But it would check off yet another sleepover must." She insists.

This line of pleading is not new. Ever since I opened the door tonight to an over-excited sheriff yelling "Sleep-over!" she had been systematically checking off activities from her never-ending checklist.

We had begun the sleep-over by drinking wine and eating Chinese food. Emma, of course, insisted that we eat it right out of the carton and in the living room where she had planned for us to sleep.

I could even get on board with that. It would mean that I wouldn't have to worry about dishes tomorrow. All of that would have been fine if Emma hadn't kept sticking her fork in my container as I was trying to eat it.

Next were the games. All games more appropriate to a middle schooler than two grown women…but then again, we are recreating a typical seven year old's sleepover. Except with wine…lots of wine. Seriously, Emma must have brought at least four bottles with her, and that's in addition to my own stash.

But the games were fun nonetheless. Perhaps that's because by that time I had been a little tipsy? First she taught me how to play M.A.S.H. in which I ended up marrying Archie, and living in an apartment with a pet sting-ray. Emma ended up divorced to Bashful and living in a mansion with a pet rock.

Next, she showed me how to make a paper fortune-teller. I explained to her how we could actually infuse the paper with magic and have the fortunes end up accurate but we decided against it. Drinking and magic do not mix well.

After seeing how well I was able to draw little pictures on the flaps of the fortune-teller, she insisted that we color.

That's the task I find myself shockingly focused on right now. It's very peaceful. Emma's seems to have noticed my lack of response for her "truth or dare" question because she huffs out a long breath. That's great too because I refuse to yet again let her magically convince me into doing something that I didn't want to originally.

"You like this activity a lot more than I thought you would." She comments.

"I haven't colored since Henry was small. He used to run over with paper and make me draw whatever he asked. Then he would try to copy it." I say to encourage the subject change.

"I sort of remember that." She admits. I look up and her face is scrunched in concentration.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Well most of the fake memories you gave me have started to fade overtime. I only remember important events in Henry's life now. That's probably because I've purposefully held onto them." She explains.

"Ah" I always wondered how others faired with the multiple lives and backgrounds in their heads.

"I vaguely remember drawing for him, but I was really bad so he eventually stopped asking me. From what I can see of your picture though, that was not the case." She compliments and tries to sneak more of a look at my picture.

Childishly I cover the sheet with my arm and pull it closer to me.

"He didn't actually stop asking me to draw for him until he started becoming distant." I correct the story. The happy memory of coloring is now being tainted by harsh memories of me dismissing my son and him becoming cold.

Emma reaches out and grabs my hand. She gently runs her thumb across my wrist.

"I'm sure he can draw better than both of us by now. I wonder if the author is automatically the illustrator too?"

"I would imagine so." I respond. "Although I would imagine he'd be better than us by now anyway."

"Yeah…we have a really great kid." She tells me earnestly.

"We do." I say and give her hand a squeeze.

"He must get that from me." She says with fake arrogance.

I scoff at the suggestion. Even though I think she's pretty great too.

"But seriously, you raised him to be a great kid even before I got here."

"I don't think I did anything worthy of praise."

"You did. You kept him and loved him." She clears her throat then. "Let's just say he's all the best of both of us."

"Agreed."

"So you agree that I have good qualities that are able pass down to our son?" She says cheeky.

"Fishing for a compliment Miss Swan?"

"No, but it wouldn't hurt for you to tell me I'm as cute as our son."

"He is rather cute." I say evasively.

She just laughs and pulls her hand away to continue with her drawing. I didn't realize how long we'd been holding hands until then...or how nice it had felt.

"You know what we're doing right?" She asks seriously.

What are we doing? I can feel my heart skip a beat from sudden nerves. Is she talking about the hand holding thing? Did I mss some hidden context clues? I thought all this was stereotypical friend stuff.

"What is that?"

"Boy-talk." She says happily.

"What?" Not what I expected but it allows my heart to start again.

"Yeah. It's a fundamental part of a biffl sleepover. Although I didn't exactly think we'd engage in it. I should have known better though. Henry is the most important boy in our lives."

"How right you are." I smile. "Okay now, let's see what you've drawn."

She flips her picture around. "I'm assuming that the stick figure with the crown and brown hair is supposed to be me." I guess as I stare at the picture. She nods yes. "Okay, and I'm doing what? Feeding a duck?"

"It's a swan, get it?"

"Am I feeding it an apple?" She nods again. "I think I should keep this and show it to Archie." I conclude and take the picture from her. "I feel that psychoanalysis could be done from it. It would certainly show more than an inkblot test." I tease.

"Ha Ha." She deadpans. "Alright Miss Artist, let's see your picture."

I flip my picture around and she shakes her head.

"How is it fair that you're good at everything? That's like a dead accurate horse." She complains.

"Hardly." I say and look at the picture again. "It's merely a cartoon of one."

"Well if you're keeping mine than I'm keeping yours." She says and grabs the picture out of my hands.

I give her a playful glare. I'm not actually upset, quite the opposite actually. It may be childish, but it's nice to know someone would want something I've made. It's not like my parents really encouraged me to be creative. My father was wonderful, but my mother never would have allowed him to encourage me in such "useless" activities.

Just then I give a deep yawn. It appears that I've hit the point where drinking wine has made me sleepy.

"I guess that's our cue to get ready for bed?" Emma asks. "I'll get everything ready and turn on a movie." She adds before I can comment.

I gather all of our coloring materials and glasses and bring them into the kitchen.

As I clean up I find myself staring at her drawing. On an impulse decision I magic a magnet into my hand and post it up on the refrigerator. I'm still smiling when I arrive back in the living room.

My eyes widen dramatically when I see what she's done with the room. Most of the furniture has been pushed back against the walls. The television has become even larger than my normal flat-screen and the couch has grown to a size where both of us could easily sleep on it. I'm assuming that is her intention too considering there are blankets and pillows on the cushions.

"What have you done to my living room?" I ask incredulously while looking at the changes.

"Calm down Gina. I'll magic it back in the morning." She sits on the middle on the couch and pats the seat next to her.

I sit where she had indicated and let myself lay back. "This is comfortable." I practically moan.

She laughs and reaches over me for the remote to start the movie. When she does I get a nosefull of Emma's hair. It smells like fresh grass and sunshine and springtime.

I curl an end of it around my finger when she sits back down. She eyes me questioningly but doesn't complain.

"Your hair is beautiful. I'm glad it's back to normal. I missed it." I explain.

I must have had way more to drink than I realized.

Emma seems to agree because she gives me an amused look and thanks me before focusing on the movie again.

It's only then that I realize it had started.

"Really? Harry Potter? I'm pretty sure Henry has made us both watch this many times before."

"I just picked something that we wouldn't mind falling asleep during." She explains.

A few moments later I realize my hand is still playing with the ends of her hair. She doesn't seem to mind though, in fact she soon angles her body to lean against mine, which gives me better access to it.

I take that as invitation to continue. I really can't stop myself anyway. I don't know if it's the alcohol or this newfound connection between us but I want to be close. When did I not just tolerate, or find comfort in her presence, but actually crave it?

I start to make little braids in her hair. Eventually, I wonder if she hasn't noticed or has fallen asleep but when I stop she starts to speak again. I'm happy to note that she doesn't move away.

"I never had anyone to braid my hair." She comments sleepily.

"I haven't braided anyone else's hair before...except Snow." I admit. "Yours is much nicer."

She gives a weak chuckle.

"You know what I've been thinking about?" She begins a moment later. "The author's alternative universe."

"What about it?"

"It's just strange how everything seems to be coming true. It was like prophetic. Rumple became a hero. Hook…died. Robin and Zelena are whatever they are together."

"Well I certainly hope everything isn't coming true." I practically shutter.

"Why not?"

"Have you forgotten what happened to me at the end of our time there?" I remind her of my near death experience.

"Henry saved you though." She reminds me right back.

"True. You're parents were also villains though. You can't want that to happen either."

"I didn't say I wanted anything to happen. I just said it seems to already be happening. Plus, my parents are the villains in Lilly's story anyway so maybe that counts."

"Maybe." I conceede. "I wouldn't worry too much, your parents are too dumb to be of any real threat as villains." I assure her.

I can tell she's not really awake anymore because she simply hums in response. A few moments later I can feel that her breathing has evened out. I don't want to move her so I throw one of the blankets over us and lean back.

Soon I'm drifting off as well.


	8. The Fight

**See end of chapter notes...**

I open my eyes to a dim light coming through the window behind me. From what I can tell, it's just the moon. My head is pounding and it takes me a few moments to gather my bearings. Suddenly, I realize that I am waking up in an unfamiliar room.

This really needs to stop happening.

I look over to my left and see machinery. I lift my hand and realize that I seem to be hooked up to the machines.

I'm in the hospital. What the hell?!

I look to my right and my heart relaxes slightly. I can see Emma and Henry both asleep in their individual chairs near the bed.

My first thought surprisingly isn't "how did I get here?" but "why is Emma here?"

The last thing I remember is us having a fight…

 _"What is your problem?!" I yell at the blonde in my kitchen._

 _"I just don't trust him okay?" She yells right back._

 _"You're aware of the fact that you sound petty and jealous right?" If she is jealous of him or me though is an entirely different question that I refuse to dwell on._

 _"What?!" She stutters "I am not!"_

 _"You have no reason to be considering YOU and the one that forced ME to go to the bar that night." Had that really only been last Friday?_

 _"Yes, but I didn't tell you to throw yourself at the first person who flirts with you!"_

 _"Throw myself at him? Are you joking? You're the one who was playing "wingman" all night." I don't know why I'm so upset about what she thinks about my relationship. It's not like I'm really even IN a relationship!_

 _"He's sketchy Regina." She insists._

 _"He use to be a villain but you know what…so was I?! Or are you saying you don't believe that people can change?"_

 _I realize that I'm upset because I crave her approval. I need her to make me believe that someone good can love me._

 _"You know that's not what I'm saying!" She says, becoming more and more frustrated._

 _"Than tell me why you're really upset Emma! It's not just because you don't trust him!" I demand._

 _"You don't have the dagger anymore Regina! You can't just force me to tell you anything you want!"_

What happened after that? God, my head is killing me! She left after that? Maybe if I go through everything I can remember I will find out how I ended up here. I had talked to Henry after that, right? Or was that the next day?

 _"What's with you guys?" My son questions me while I'm still fuming._

 _"Your mother is infuriating!"_

 _"Yeah I got that." He says sarcastically. "Trevor says you guys were having a "lovers spat"." He informs me._

 _"Who?"_

 _"He's a year older than me? Ex-lost boy? Works at the movies?" Henry elaborates._

 _Ahhh that kid. Of course he would be spreading rumors that are none of his business._

 _Wait…lovers spat?!_

 _"I don't want you hanging out with him." I tell Henry absentmindedly._

 _"No problem. He kinda gives me the creeps anyway." I nod my head in agreement. "Do you want to tell me what you guys were fighting about?"_

 _"I had informed her about my date with Clayton and she instantly got very dismissive and jealous and started ranting about how she doesn't trust him." I start ranting as well, not worrying about the fact that I probably shouldn't be telling my son any of this. "It's not like I'm marrying him! I went on one date… I saw him the next morning at the diner too and we had coffee but that could hardly be called a date. Anyway she was the one who practically forced me to meet new people and go on dates in the first place. I was perfectly happy."_

 _I realize that I really was happy. Of course Miss Swan had to ruin it._

 _"It sounds like she's acting the way she did when she met Tamara." Henry concludes._

 _"So I was right, she is jealous!" I say in a victorious yet suspicious manner._

 _"Yeah probably, but you also have to remember that her gut instinct about Tamara was right. She did end up being evil." He reminds me._

Right! Clayton's evil. I'm sure he's the reason I'm here then. I had seen him after my talk with Henry correct? I can picture us talking in my office but I don't remember what it was about. It's all so fuzzy and my head's still killing me.

"Mom?"

I look over and Henry is watching me through sleepy eyes.

"Henry" I don't know what to say. Hello? How did I get here? It's just so nice to see him even if he is tired and concerned.

"How are you feeling?" He whispers so as not to wake his younger mother.

"I'm okay. What exactly happened?" I bite the bullet and ask. Maybe it will trigger a memory.

"You don't remember?" He asks.

"Only bits and pieces." I admit.

"Do you remember fighting with Emma?" He asks. When I nod my head affirmatively he adds "Do you remember telling me to go to your vault after your talk with Clayton?"

I shake my head no. Why would Henry go to my vault without me?

"Okay I'll start there then. So after you had a talk with him at your office, you became suspicious about him. Eventually I guess you decided to be cautious just in case. You were going to be home soon but you knew I would beat you there by a good half hour so you called me. You didn't want me in the house alone. I was already walking in that direction though so you told me to get to your vault since you had extra protections set up there. The problem was that Clayton was already there and trying to get into the vault himself. When he saw me coming, he hid and waited until I was going through the barrier and went through with me. Once he confronted me, I hid in your wardrobe and I called you from the speed-dial in my jacket pocket."

With horror, some of my memories about what happened next come back to me.

 _I immediately answer the ringing phone when I see Henry's name._

 _"Hello Henry, did you get to the vault?" I ask._

 _The only response is low muffling voices . I almost hang up, assuming he accidently called me, when I hear some of what the people are saying._

 _"Hiding, are we? Good! I could use a challenge, because after I get rid of you, your mother will be thoroughly distracted and I will be able to carry out the rest of my plan easily."_

 _I know that voice…Clayton_

 _Before he is able to say anything else I'm appearing in a cloud of smoke in front of him._

 _"And what plan would that be?" I sneer. He looks slightly taken aback but recovers quickly._

 _"Oh, just the one where I become rich and famous in this world by exposing this town and all it's magic." He says with great delight._

 _Emma was right, this guy is an ass._

 _"I don't think so." I respond and create a fireball in my hand, ready to throw at a moment's notice._

 _"Really? And who is going to stop me? You?" He asks is a demeaning manner._

 _Before I can even formulate a response he reaches for a bottle behind his back and throws the contents in my face._

 _The world goes black._

Henry! I reach out for him and he clasps my hand. Oh god! He's here in front of me so clearly nothing too bad happened to him after Clayton doused me with knock out powder.

"I'm okay mom, really!" Henry insists. "YOU took a really hard fall to the ground though. And while he was distracted with you, I snuck behind him and knocked him over the head with the heaviest spell book I could find."

"You knocked him over the head with a book!" I whisper-shout.

He grins. "You always told me words were a powerful weapon."

I can't help but smile at my son. My personal protector.

Wait…Henry saved me again. Maybe Emma was right about the prophetic alternate universe. Or maybe some things are just fated in any reality?

Too many deep questions for the moment.

"How did I end up at the hospital?" I pick a relevant question to actually spend my brainpower thinking about.

"Oh, after I knocked him out, I called Emma. She came immediately. She called Grandpa and he came and got Clayton. Emma brought you here. She didn't want to heal you with magic in case it conflicted with the magical powder he threw at you. I think she was also scared you had internal bleeding or something she didn't know about." He answers with a yawn.

That explains the headache.

"Go back to sleep my prince. I'll be right here."

He nods sleepily and closes his eyes again. Within moments he's asleep. It's truly a skill to be able to fall asleep anywhere like that.

After our conversation I had a lot to think about. My head still aches, from what I assume was the fall and I really just want to go back to sleep. However between my hectic thoughts and the dull pain, I'm having trouble with that.

About a half hour later, a night nurse notices I'm awake and comes into the room to check on me.

"How are you feeling?" She asks.

"I'm alive." I respond dryly.

She gives me a stern look. "You need to rest. The doctor will check in with you in the morning but my guess is that you'll be out of here by tomorrow afternoon." She looks down at her watch then. "This afternoon technically."

She moves over to the left side of my bed to seemingly fiddle with the machinery. I hear rustling on my other side though so I stop watching her to check and see if Henry has woken up again.

It isn't Henry who's woken.

When Emma's eyes meet mine she gives me a small, relieved, smile. As fast as it appeared however, it vanishes, only to be replaced by a scowl.

So engrossed in our gaze was I, that I forgot the nurse was still in the room until she started to speak again.

"I've given you something to help you sleep." She says and taps on the IV bag. It should also help with any pain."

She nods her head at both Emma and myself and promptly leaves the room.

"What the hell were you thinking!" Emma angrily whispers and stands up from her chair.

"I was thinking that I had to save our son from a trap that I had inadvertently led him into!" I reply.

I didn't realize I had felt so guilty about being the one to tell Henry to go to the vault until this moment.

"You should have called me the moment you thought Henry or yourself was in danger!" She says while pacing next to the bed.

"In my defense I didn't think we were in that much danger! It was just a suspicion…which I assumed stemmed from you planting the idea in my head."

My last statement would have come out more forceful and probably less placating if I suddenly didn't feel really drained. The medicine is clearly beginning to kick in.

"God Gina!" She huffs and sits down by my waist on the bed. I can see the anger slowly draining out of her. "I thought I lost you." She finally whispers. Her voice hitches in the middle and I can see she is holding back tears.

"Oh sweetie…" I'm overcome with emotion and just hold out my arms for her to fall into. "I'm fine. I'm here. It's going to take a lot more to kill me than some man using some of my own magic against me." I reassure her.

She sits up again but takes my hand. I use this opportunity to rest back on the pillows comfortably.

"Promise me you won't do anything like that again." She demands gently.

"I promise." As soon as the words are out of my mouth I close my eyes. I'm awake, just barely, but enough to still hear her next words.

"Good…you have a family now that loves you. We can't loose you." She whispers earnestly.

"Love you too" I manage to mumble right before the world goes dark once again.

 **First, for those of you who don't know, or didn't pick up on it, Clayton is the main antagonist in the Tarzan cartoon. I tried to keep his intentions and personality similar to the movie.**

 **Second, I'm not the best at writing angst (or smut for future knowledge) so I try to avoid it. That's why the fight is broken up in flashbacks. I hope it still played well.**

 **Third, to anyone who originally thought she was waking up after the sleep over and was disappointed in this instead...sorry?**


	9. The Phone Call

**Hello everyone! I just wanted to let you know that if everything goes according to plan that this story should be about 14 or 15 chapters long. Thanks for your support and I hope you like the way things are progressing so far!**

'I am so tired. I truly have no right to be. I must have slept a good 11 hours at the hospital.' I think as I change into a pair of my blue silk pajamas. The day hadn't even been taxing.

By noon that day Dr. Whale had given me the okay to go home again. Not like it would have stopped me from leaving if he didn't approve.

 _After a long and a calming night's sleep I felt so much better. The only thing dampening my mood was a pixie haired woman quietly observing the entire check-up with Doctor Whale._

 _"No offense dear, but what are you still doing here?" I finally ask once the doctor leaves the room to get my papers._

 _About an hour and a half ago she had arrived at the hospital to see how I was fairing. According to Emma, her parents had been incessantly calling her and asking her how I was. I'm not sure what to make of this news, but I find that I wasn't upset she had come. Of course, that changed quickly once she and I were left alone in the room together. The traitors, formally known as Henry and Emma, had taken the opportunity to go have breakfast since I wouldn't be alone._

 _It's been unnerving to have her standing there staring at me while the doctor made sure I was fit to resume normal activity. Something in me still recoils at the idea of Snow White seeing me as weak in any way._

 _"Stop pretending like you hate me. I'm just here to keep you company until the people you actually want to see come back." She says and moves from her stiff position by the door._

 _"Really dear, if you think this is me acting like I hate you than perhaps you're the one who needs to be in the hospital because clearly you have amnesia and forgot what me hating you looked like." I comment. "I'm simply wondering why you think I need a baby sitter."_

 _"Emma told me to stay here so I'm staying. I'm not about to let her get upset with me for leaving you."_

 _I simply shake my head and head and move to the bathroom to change into my normal clothes. (Which I had magicked here.) I could have magicked them right onto my body but I thought I should start off slow considering my energy levels had just been wiped. Going into the bathroom is also a great excuse to get away from Snow's pitying eyes for a moment._

 _Soon, I hear Emma and Henry arrive back and I deem it safe to leave the en suite._

 _"There you are!" Emma says happily. I'm glad she has gotten over her initial shyness this morning. When I woke up she greeted me with the most pathetically small "hi." It was reminiscent of the morning after we "slept" together. I assumed her embarrassment this time came from our conversation in the wee hours of the morning. Seeing her distress makes me strangely more confident in everything I had said._

 _"Finally." I breathe out. "I'm ready to leave."_

 _"Good, I'll drive you to Town Hall so you can get your car before I head to work." She states it like a fact instead of an offer._

 _"That would be wonderful." I accept gratefully._

 _"What's in the bag, Emma?" Snow asks, referring to the white plastic bag in Emma's hand. Leave it to Snow to be as noisy as always._

 _Emma and Henry's face both immediately light up. They look like they had just remembered the greatest thing in the world._

 _"You'll never believe what the gift shop had Mom!" Henry replies and looks like he's going to burst out laughing._

 _"Here" Emma hands me the bag. "To commemorate our first, but probably not last, fight as biffls, I got you a present."_

 _"I'm amazed we made it this long." I muse while accepting the bag that's handed to me._

 _Everyone give a chuckle._

 _"I'm amazed the town had made it this long without a villain actively trying to destroy it." The Sheriff adds._

 _"Too true." I allow. "So what's this gift that has you both so excited?" I question._

 _"Open it!" Henry demands._

 _I open the bag and look into it. You can't miss the contents, as it nearly takes up the entire bag._

 _And I'm sure I'm smiling like an idiot because it's a stuffed Rhinoceros toy. It's around the size of a common throw pillow. It's the perfect size for cuddling with. (If that's what the intention is.) It's plush…soft like the inside of a new sweater._

 _I look up and my gaze immediately connects with Emma's and I know in this moment she can see my every emotion. My stomach suddenly feels like its lodged into my lungs. It reminds me of the moment where you are momentarily weightless before a fall or a drop._

 _This gift is so…sweet. That's the only world I can think to use. It is kind, thoughtful, and funny, all rolled into one._

 _"I thought you could use it as practice for if I accidently turn myself into Rhino." She breaks the intensity of the moment and my stomach finally drops like I inevitably knew it would._

 _"I'm still not taking care of you if that happens." I reiterate as I fully pull the stuffed-animal out of the bag._

 _"Why would you turn yourself into a Rhino?" Snow inquires, thoroughly confused._

 _It's enough break the last of the tension and suddenly the three of us that understand are laughing, much to Snow's dismay._

 _"It's an inside joke." Emma explains._

 _I can tell that Snow desperately wants to know what the story behind the gift is but surprisingly she doesn't ask._

I smile at the memory as I look at the toy on my nightstand. I hold it to my chest as I sit on top of the covers and just let my body relax slowly.

My phone begins to ring, so I detach it from the charger.

Emma. What could she want?

"Hello?"

"Hey Gina. What's new? How are you feeling?" She inquires all at once.

"You do remember that I saw you only six hours ago?" I sass. "I can't say anything exciting has happened to me during that time."

She lets out an exasperated sigh. "I'm just…worried about you. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

I can't handle the emotions leeching out of me from such a simple statement.

"You do realize I've absorbed a death curse and no one batted an eyelash?" I remind her to prevent this conversation from becoming too emotional. "Comparatively, this was nothing."

"You weren't unconscious after that though. This was scarier for me. I thought you were dead."

"Alright, I imagine that for you, it would be." I concede. "How was everything at the station?"

"Fine. That asshole is locked up until we can think of what's best to do with him."

"Did you get a confession?" I ask and fiddle with the toy I'm sill holding.

"Oh yeah. He's not the brightest villain we've faced. All I needed to do was wound his ego a bit and he spilled the beans almost immediately. It turns out he was also the thief from Gold's shop. He was collecting as many magical items as possible before crossing the town line. He was going to expose the town's magic to the world to become rich and famous. He went to your vault because he apparently couldn't find anything at Gold's that would allow him to travel over the line safely."

I had uncharacteristically forgotten all about the robbery of Gold's shop. I've had a lot going on and Emma hadn't mentioned it in months. That doesn't make me feel better about letting it slip my mind though. I need to be more on top of potential threats!

"I suppose you're waiting for me to admit that you were right all along." I say regretfully.

"As much as I would love to hear that, it's not necessary. I'm sorry being right lead to all of this."

"Well it sounds like you had a successful day at work at least." I comment

"Yeah…" I immediately know there is something she's not telling me.

"What? Everything didn't go well?"

"No it was fine." She quickly assures.

"Emma…"

"I kind of punched him in the face." She admits quickly.

"Emma!"

"What? He deserved it!"

Pause

"I'll admit I'm a little jealous that I wasn't able to do that myself."

She lets out a relieved laugh.

"However, I am surprised. I thought I was the only one with the privilege of enacting police brutality in this town."

"If it makes you feel better, it was much more pleasurable hitting you." I can feel her smirking through the phone.

"Miss Swan" I give a playful warning with just her name.

She simply laughs and comments, "You're really bad at remembering my name."

"I'm sorry if I revert back to old habits when scolding you." I reply sarcastically.

"From now on I think I'm only going to respond if you call me Emma…or sweetie."

Shit. I did call her that didn't I. Well I'm certainty now just going to sit here while she teases me without at least fighting back.

"Are you sure there isn't anything else you'd allow me to call you?" I ask as seductively as I can manage.

She makes a slightly strangled sound. She evidently was not expecting that turn. I smile victoriously to myself.

But good old Emma Swan would never go down without fighting back.

"Oh, I can think of a few. Although, I don't believe they're necessarily appropriate for public places."

I take back every bad thing I've ever said about phone conversations. I'm glad we're not face-to-face right now, because I'm not entirely sure I could completely erase the blush I feel creeping up my neck.

Are we crossing a line between teasing and flirting? Our relationship feels like it's always had a bit of both. Albeit, this is much more blatantly flirtatious than it's ever been. Is that bad? Maybe I'm just over thinking it. For all I know this is just how best friends normally act.

"You'll have to inform me sometime then…in a not-so-pubic place." I request in the same tone as before. Because if it's chicken we're playing now, I'm certainly not going to be the one to brake first.

Turns out I don't need to be because Emma must have reached some limit of comfort and changes the subject. "I hope you're in a no-so-public place right now or else eavesdroppers might get the wrong idea. You know how our kid can be."

Yes, Henry is noisy just like his Grandma. Thankfully, I taught him more manners than her though.

"Oh, I do."

"How is Henry anyway?"

"He's perfectly fine. My knight in shinning armor."

"I guess we don't have to worry about any more author's alternative universe prophesies coming true now. I think that was the last one."

"Hopefully" I'm really becoming weary of fate.

"Well it's good we got that one over with in a not-so horrible way. You're fairly uninjured and Henry's safe and proud of himself."

"Yes, I don't think yesterday's events even makes his top five list of traumatic adolescent events."

"How sad is that? It looks like you're going to have to pay for therapy for him again someday." She mocks.

"And why exactly would I be paying?"

"Doesn't the therapist always blame the mother? It's the least you could do for all that suffering."

"Tell me Dark Swan, how I'm the mother responsible for all of the scaring." I request rhetorically.

"Fair point. I guess we'll split the cost. But seriously, he seemed pretty worried about you."

"He really is okay now. He's basically just using the situation to try and get extra dessert after dinner."

"I'm not surprised. When we were at the gift shop he tried to guilt me into buying him candy too."

"And did you?"

"Maybe…"

"You're weak."

"Hey!" She protests. "Did you give him extra dessert?"

"No"

It's true. I didn't give him EXTRA. He did convince me to pick up Granny's famous chocolate cake on the way home. However, she doesn't need to know that.

"Uh huh." She says disbelievingly.

"Anyway, speaking of the gift shop, Henry named my Rhinoceros." I say changing the subject.

"Really? What is it?"

"Dino."

"Clever. Remember when he…" She then reminisces about our adventures at the zoo together. This, in turn, spurs more Henry related stories.

Much later, I look over at the clock and realize that we've been talking on the phone for over two hours. Sometime during that period I had laid down completely on the bed and threw the fleece blanket over me.

I've just ended my story about dropping him off at his first day of school and am waiting for a response. When none is forthcoming I hesitantly ask "Emma?"

I can hear breathing through the line and assume she must have fallen asleep. Instead of hanging up I stay on the line a few moments and just listen. I close my eyes and unconsciously our breaths begin to synchronize.

I feel…content. It's not a feeling I am well versed in. I almost don't recognize it at first. Looking back, my existence up until recently has basically been a gloomy one; punctuated by short periods of both astonishing happiness and terrible pain.

This is a nice change of pace. I wouldn't mind one bit if this is what my "ever after" felt like.

Although, it would be nice if she were actually here.

Before I can fall asleep, I peak open my eyes again.

"Goodnight Emma" I wish for her before disconnecting.

I burrow myself under blankets and am soon asleep. I don't realize until the morning that I'm still clutching the gift from my best friend.


	10. The Vision

**Shorter chapter, sorry. I really wanted to get this right. I hope by the end of the chapter you aren't confused by what happened but if so let me know if you are and I will try to explain! Thanks again for all the support!**

"I'm glad you came out to dinner with us." Emma says with genuine gratitude as we exit the dinner.

"Well, how could I miss your birthday!" I jest. " Besides, it's the least I could do since you told me not to get you a gift."

"You still gave me a card. AND you made my favorite chocolate almond cake!" Emma protests. "That was the best gift you could have given me." She responds and playfully bumps my shoulder as we step up to the sidewalk next to Henry and the Charmings.

Ah yes, the card. The card in which I took an embarrassingly long time trying to decided what to write in it. In the end I just went with a generic sentiment but it still made her grin like an idiot when she read it.

 _It read. "Happy Birthday Emma. Thank you for allowing me to celebrate this day with you and our son. Love Regina"_

"We need to get this little one in bed soon." David says and gestures to the toddler that is sleeping in Snow's arms. That child seems to always be sleeping. I wish Henry had been like that.

"Goodnight!" Both Emma and Henry say as they hug her parent's goodbye.

"Goodnight, and again, Happy Birthday!" Snow says lovingly to her daughter before departing.

After they leave, the three of us stand there a moment and look up at the sky. It's dusk, but thankfully not too cold yet. The trees are at their peak of changing colors. All in all, it's a beautiful night.

Over thirty years ago today I had enacted a curse that set these events in motion. For the first few years in Storybrooke I celebrated this day. It had reinforced the fact that I had won and was continuing to win. After Henry though, I began to dread this day. It had become a reminder that this happiness was fragile and could be potentially ripped away from me.

I never once thought I would spend this day joyfully in the company of the Charmings, the Savior, and my son. I'm glad this day is a cause for celebration again. A much better cause this time too.

I finally break the silence. "Do you have everything you need?" I ask Henry.

"Yup." He answers and indicates to the backpack strapped to his shoulders.

"Good. I suppose I should let you both head home then. You have school in the morning." I say decidedly. The longer I stand here the harder it is to leave. As of late, I've been finding it increasingly hard to remove myself from their presence. I need them to go now and get it over with. I'm a firm believer in ripping off the band-aid quickly.

"Night mom!" Henry says and steps over to give me a hug.

"Birthday group hug!" Emma announces and both Henry and I open our arms to allow her to squeeze in.

All too soon they are extracting themselves and stepping away. They wave and give me longing smiles. As I watch them turn their back on me I am momentarily blinded by a flash of headlights.

 _A flash of magenta light emanates from the scroll in my hand and suddenly I am not surrounded by people in the middle of the street anymore. I am standing on the sidewalk outside of Granny's diner. Warmth surrounds me and I realize it's a set of arms. Two sets to be exact._

 _All too soon the warmth in my heart and on my body is disappearing. Emma and Henry extract themselves from the group hug and step back. Henry looks more mature than his current age but still thankfully has that same sparkle in his eyes._

 _They wave and give me longing smiles before turning around and walking away from me. Emma wraps an arm around Henry's shoulder and pulls him close as they walk further and further away._

 _And my heart is slowly breaking. And I know…I just know this is my punishment for casting the curse. Seeing my son love me and still have to walk away has to be some sort of karmic revenge. And Emma…Emma, who I can't even be mad at for getting to leave with him because it turns out she is kind of wonderful and a good mother, and deserves to have him. And I've never wanted to share something or someone so badly as I want to share Henry with her in this moment._

 _But this is my punishment. That is the happy ending I have to give up. I know that now._

 _"Regina!" I vaguely hear my name being called._

"Regina!" I hear it called again. As soon as the voice registers in my consciences I pop open my eyes.

"Emma." I breathe out and sit up with her help.

How had I come to be laying on the side walk?

"What happened?" Henry asks from my other side. They are both still clutching my hands and I let them assist me in standing up.

What HAD happened? A serious case of deja vu? A flashback of a flash-forward? A flashback of a prophecy?

When I had originally seen that scene play out it was right before we defeated Pan and I had to send Emma and Henry away. When I had touched the scroll and had this vision, I had always assumed that the magic was simply showing me what I had to do to stop the curse. The happy ending that would never be. The happiness I would have to give up in order to save everyone.

What does it mean that it wasn't showing me an impossible scenario but a glimpse into my actual future?

"What?" I answer distractedly to the call of my name.

"Gina, are you okay? What happened?" Emma says softly and rubs my shoulder with her hand.

"I'm not entirely sure." I admit. How do I explain this to them when I'm not entirely sure what has happened or why it's happened?

"Was it magic? Are you sick? Talk to me here." Emma demands with slight desperation leaking into her voice.

It's this sound of desperation that finally snaps me fully back into reality.

"I'm fine, truly." I assure her. "It think it was simply a powerful case of déjà vu." I direct the statement at Henry with a grin.

"Weird. I don't remember doing any of this before." He comments, but he is visibly more relaxed after hearing some sort of explanation.

Emma, however, hasn't relaxed. She is watching me suspiciously. Perhaps her lie detector went off because I don't have confidence in my own explanation of the events.

"If I hadn't seen you or wasn't able to slow your fall with magic, you could have had another head injury right now." She argues. "I think you should sleep over in case something happens again."

"It won't happen again." I say with confidence. This is something I AM sure of.

"Please? It's my birthday. Think of my peace of mind as your gift to me."

"I thought you told me you didn't want a gift." I remind her, but truthfully my resolve to not go with them is already diminishing by the second.

"I've changed my mind." She says with eyes full of mirth. Well, mirth and an undercurrent of concern.

"Very well." I agree. I make it seem as though it's more of a chore than it is though. Because honestly, her convincing me to do whatever she wants is becoming a bad pattern. One that I'm not so inclined to break. "You're lucky it's your birthday."

"You're lucky-" She starts to say. She quickly shakes her head and seems rethink whatever was about to come out. She looks from me to Henry and finally says, "You're right. I'm lucky for a lot of reasons."

Our eyes meet again and the meaning of her words crashes down on me. "You and me both." I agree.


	11. The Attraction

_I adjust the brown-paper shopping bags in my arms to allow myself to easily open the door. Once through the doorway, I notice how quiet it is. Not that I've ever encountered Emma's house when it was full of noise, but it is still uncomfortable in all its solitude. I can remember a time, not so long ago, when the mansion had this same hollow feel._

 _I go to put the groceries in the kitchen when I hear a faint "Gina?"_

 _Leave it to Emma to not sound anxious that an unknown person has just entered her house. Then again, I have been coming and going a lot the last few days so perhaps I'm to blame for her compliancy._

 _I turn my head to try and place where the voice came from and my heart drops. I immediately see the blonde sprawled out on the couch with her eyes still closed._

 _"Sweetie, are you okay?" I ask as I rush to her side. Distractedly, I place the bags on the coffee table and kneel next to the couch._

 _She smiles and opens her eyes. "Yes, I'm fine." She looks over at me like she finds my moment of panic amusing._

 _"I promise." She adds, misinterpreting my glare. "Thanks to you, I'm actually feeling back to normal. I'm just a little tired, but otherwise, I'm good."_

 _She does look better than she has since I found her three days ago. Her eyes are clear blue instead of the glassy mix that they have been. When I found her on Monday she was in the midst of a serious head cold, yet still trying to work at the station. She begged me to just magically cure her, even though she knew full well that there is no way to just cure the common cold. A few potions to boost her immune system and speed up the healing process were about the best I could do. I forced her to go home that day and have been coming by ever since to check in on her._

 _I give her my hand and help her up into a standing position._

 _"You look good." I comment on her healthy completion and change of clothes._

 _She puts a hand on her hip and exaggeratedly looks me up and down. "So do you." She finally says flirtatiously._

 _I roll my eyes. "Not what I meant."_

 _She laughs and quickly reaches down and picks up one of the bags._

 _"Groceries?" She asks as she peaks inside to see the contents._

 _"Yes" I respond as I take the other bag and we make our way to the kitchen._

 _Emma pulls out the pasta from her bag and smirks at me. "You know, Henry and I were talking last night…"_

 _I can tell just by her overly casual tone of voice that she is either going to tease me about something, or ask for a favor. Possibly both, knowing her lack of tact._

 _She continues, "We were saying how the only way we could love you more is if you made us that spicy pasta dish again."_

 _A favor it is then._

 _Casually referencing that she loves me, yet again, without actually ever saying it directly is simultaneously irritating and points in her favor._

 _"The Cajun chicken pasta?" I question, knowing full well that this must be the dish she is referring to. I had been experimenting with new spices in my dishes for the last few months. Actually, it's been ever since that first long phone conversation when she told me about how her and Henry had eaten more multi-cultural food while in New York._

 _"Yes!" She confirms excitedly._

 _"I wasn't aware that I needed to bribe either of you to love me more. I should have known all it would take is food though." I comment while we put the groceries away._

 _"I'm going to text Henry and tell him I convinced you!" She says excitedly._

 _"I'll make it tomorrow if you manage to make it through your shift at work. Right now, I'm heating up soup."_

 _"More of your magical healing soup? Count me in." She accepts the condition and hands me a pot to heat up the soup in._

 _We work together seamlessly in the kitchen and sit down at her table to eat it. It's all very domestic and comfortable._

 _"Pumpkin?" She asks after the first spoonful._

 _"I thought it would be festive." I explain._

 _"It's good."_

 _"Thank you. Roland helped me make it last night."_

 _"Oh right, how was babysitting?"_

 _"It went really well. I've found that I like being an aunt. I get to be the fun adult for the first time in my life."_

 _"Isn't it great! That's how I feel with baby Neal"_

 _"He's growing up quickly. I don't think he's going to appreciate being called 'baby' much longer."_

 _"Yeah…I'm still getting use to it though."_

 _They ate in easy silence for a while._

 _"How was seeing Robin?" Emma scrounges up the courage to ask._

 _We're so use to pushing each other and it's hard sometimes to talk about certain topics now when we're actively trying NOT to upset the other person._

 _"It was…how it always is." I explain. I know she understands that to mean it was slightly awkward but nice. "We're still finding our footing, but I think he's going to make a great friend some day."_

 _"I'm glad." She sounds relieved. What would she have been worried about in the first place?_

 _"Me too. Can't go around forever with you as my only friend." I tease._

 _"One, why would you need anyone else when you have me?" She says arrogantly. "Two, you know you have other friends." She says in a more serious tone._

 _"Like Dino?" I ask playfully._

 _"Exactly." She laughs and she rises to takes the empty dishes into the kitchen._

 _When we go to the kitchen I immediately go to the go to the stove and get the pot so that I can soak it in the sink._

 _I turn around and find Emma standing quite close and gazing at me with unfocused eyes._

 _"Emma?" I call out as I take the bowls from her hands to put them in the sink as well._

 _At the call of her name she seems to snap out of her daze._

 _"Are you sure you're feeling alright? You're a bit flushed."_

 _"Yeah just warm I guess." She says without looking at me._

 _I frown._

 _I take a step toward her. I take her right hand in my left and press the fingers of my left hand to her forehead. My fingers are still warm from the hot water though so I can't make an accurate statement on whether or not she has a temperature._

 _Without thinking about it, I lean foreword and press my lips to her forehead. The moment I do, I realize how strange this is. I was simply acting on instinct. It's something I would do to check if Henry had a fever._

 _I am careful to put on a mask of indifference when I pull back. She has to believe that I think this was a totally normal procedure. I'm convinced that's the only way to save this situation. It works too. I can tell I have the perfect "Madam Mayor" mask (as Emma calls it.) on. I'm about to declare her healthy but then our eyes meet._

 _Suddenly our lips are attached. I have not idea who leaned in. More than likely we met in the middle. Drawn by some invisible force. The kiss itself isn't forceful though. At least not at first. At first it's tender, in a way that would make you think neither of us could believe it was happening. And I know at least I can't._

 _But once we realize it is happening, it goes from zero to sixty in seconds. The hand that was still resting on her shoulder when I kissed her forehead is now pulling her so that we are flush. Hands and arms are moving and I swear don't know when or how it happened but my back is now against something solid. I can't seem to find it in myself to care what that something is when her hands and moving beneath my shirt…_

I bolt upright in bed. My heart is hammering in my chest at an alarming rate.

"It was just a dream. It was just a dream." I repeat the phrase a few times, to reassure myself.

Only it hadn't been just a dream. It had been a dream about EMMA. And I could NOT be having dreams of that nature about my friend! My BEST friend. My bffl…as ridiculous as that name is, it is assuredly not conducive with dream like THAT.

The dream was also uncomfortably close to reality. Emma HAD actually been sick this week. And I HAD brought over groceries for her only to find her laying on the couch. Where the memory ends and the dream took over is only after I kiss her forehead. In actuality, when our eyes lock we both turned away and hurriedly resumed cleaning the kitchen.

I hug my elbows in my knees and place my head in my hands. I'm a little shocked when I feel wetness on my cheeks. Unbeknownst to me, a few tears had escaped during my heightened emotional state. I furiously rub the residue away, yet I can still feel my eyes becoming misty.

I need to regain control of my body.

What I really need is sleep. But after what happened, I can't tell if I'm mad that I woke up in the first place or scared to go to sleep again now. Perhaps it's both.

It doesn't mean anything, right? People have crazy dreams all the time. I once had a dream where Daddy turned into a monkey and teased all our horses. I'm sure other people have had dreams of this nature about their friends. It's natural for your mind to unconsciously create a hypothetical situation in which you, and someone you spend a lot of time with, engage in sexual activities.

I definitely believe that.

However, I can't completely convince myself that it applies to my situation.

I'd believe it if this was the first time I had ever thought of Emma in that way. It's not. In my defense, those thoughts were mostly before the curse broke. And any sleep driven fantasy back then had certainly not been filled with caring moments.

It still doesn't have to mean anything though. I'm just panicking more than I normally would because I've continually been stressing over what that "flashback" last month meant. The only logical explanation I could come up with was that when I had originally touched the scroll it showed me a glimpse into my future...into my happy ending. The glimpse just had an additional purpose of helping me realize what I had to do at that time to save everyone.

But not all happy endings include romance. And you can find your friends attractive without any deeper meaning, right?

Right.


	12. The Holidays

**see end of chapter for notes.**

"W'Gina!" I hear my "name" being called the moment I open the door to the tiny apartment. I look over and Neal is sitting with David on the couch and is clapping his hands excitedly.

"Merry Christmas Neal." I coo. I hang my purse and coat up before making my way over to the boy. "How's my favorite Charming?" I ask as I pick the toddler up to give him a hug.

"Hey!" I hear an offended shout from the stairs. I look up and Emma is glaring at me with mock hurt.

She looks cute in her Reindeer Christmas sweater that I know Snow must be responsible for.

It's perfectly normal to think your friends look cute.

"Yes Miss Swan?" I purposely use the title to let her know that, as much as the name may suite her, I don't consider her a Charming.

She smiles. "I'll let the name go just this once as a Christmas present." She says and comes over to hug Neal and me at the same time.

"Is that my only present?" I ask. I thought I had said it in a normal tone of voice but maybe I was wrong because Snow is giving Emma a pointed look from her place in the kitchen and suddenly Emma is blushing.

Just then Henry bursts through the door behind me. He insisted that he could carry all of the bags we had in the car, but now I'm wondering if it was smart of me to let him do that. However, even weighed down by gift bags, he still has a huge grin on his face.

"Merry Christmas!" He shouts.

David returns the sentiment and hurries over to help relieve him of his things.

I bounce Neal up and down and look around the apartment. It's fully decorated with holiday garb. This is the first time we've really celebrated the holidays. Snow not only insisted that they host it in their tiny loft but that everyone goes all-out. That meant gifts for everyone, a tree lighting in town, cookie baking, and more. We've even had candle lightings at the library for Chanukah during that week.

As much as it is overcrowded in here, I can also admit that it's warm and homey.

"So when can we open presents?" Henry asks excitedly. I let him open one of his presents this morning with his breakfast to tie him over. He's been patient, but now that we're with everyone else his patience is wearing thin.

"Pwesents!" Neal repeats excitedly in my ear.

"Yes presents." Snow says to Neal and takes him from me while smiling brightly. I must have been right about her being responsible for the sweater because she's wearing a matching one. "Dinner is almost ready so how about afterwards?" She suggests.

"It's only three in the afternoon." Emma points out while hugging Henry. "Shouldn't we call it like Linner…or Dunch?"

"I would think this would be considered Supper dear." I move into the kitchen to help with any final preparations.

"Are we waiting for anyone else?" I question a few minutes later as Emma and I are putting place settings on the table.

"Nope." Charming responds from across the room.

"I was informed that Granny is hosting a "no-children" Christmas party at the diner that the dwarves and some other folk are attending." Snow informs me with a smirk.

"I have to be on call tonight and I'm really hoping it doesn't get out of hand." David says. "It's just as well though. It's nice to just have the family over for Christmas." He adds.

I look down at the place settings and it strikes me that I am part of "just the family." I knew that I was family already. But technically, so are Rumple and Belle. So are so many other random people in this town…and yet I am the only one here.

I would expect a sickeningly sweet statement like that to come from Snow…but David? He's usually more like Emma and lets his actions speak louder than his words. That's why it means more for him to say it.

We sit down to dinner soon after that. The meal is pretty good. I even tell Snow as much and she beams with pride like she use to when she was a child. I couldn't fully enjoy her happiness back then but now I appreciate that I can be the cause of it. With my own pride, I notice that my sweet potato casserole was the first thing to go. Even now, David is stealing pieces of it off of Henry's plate, which is causing a fork fight.

Emma smiles amusedly but it doesn't reach her eyes. She's been rather quiet during the meal so far. It's times like these that I remember that her life has been hard and she could be feeling down for any number of reasons.

Guilt rises up in me. First, because she wasn't able to have holidays with her family as a child. My curse was the cause of that. Second, it's because I know she could possibly be thinking about Hook and how he isn't here. It's been almost a year since his death, but I know from experience that even if you move on, the pain doesn't go away. This line of thinking wouldn't normally cause me to feel guilty, except a part of me is glad he isn't here.

A big part, but surprisingly only a part.. And who could really blame me for feeling that way?

Ever since Emma declared that bffls sit next to each other, she has always occupied the seat to my left during gatherings. This position now lets me easily reach my hand over and give her fiddling ones a reassuring squeeze. She looks up and smiles but holds my hand even tighter between hers before letting go.

As per usual we get caught up in the moment. Generally, we are alone when this happens or no one is paying attention. However, we are currently sitting at a small, fairly quiet table so of course Snow notices the exchange.

"Are you okay Emma?" She asks her daughter.

"I'm wonderful!" Emma says trying to escape the funk she was in. She pats my knee. "What do you think about opening presents before dessert?" She directs the question to the entire table.

"Yes!" Henry shouts once he hears the word presents.

Everyone laughs and agrees so we begin to clear the dishes away and sit around the tree.

I take small package from my purse and slip it into my pocket before heading to the couch. I have a nervous flutter in my stomach thinking about giving Emma her gift. I'm excited because I think she'll love it, but I just really don't want to be wrong. It took me forever to find it.

 _I've been Christmas shopping all day and cannot wait until I can go home and put my feet up. It has been a successful day so far and I have gifts bought for everyone…with one exception. I cannot for the life of me think of a gift for Emma. Everyone else was fairly easy and I was able to think of what to get him or her ahead of time. I was hoping that while gathering the gifts for the others I would simply see something suited for Emma. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened yet and I'm loosing hope. This is the last chance I'm going to get to go shopping before the day arrives too. I've been so busy with all of the town events that I have to plan and/or approve that this is my only day off._

 _At this point, I am walking into every store just to get inspiration. Sure, I've seen things I think she might like, but none of those were THE gift. I've just dropped the other bags off in the car and have decided that this task is now attaining all my focus._

 _I've asked myself several times why I'm so concerned with finding the perfect gift for her and as of yet, I have not come up with any answers that satisfy me._

 _It certainly doesn't diminish the pressure knowing that whatever gift she gets me will be wonderful. She deserves a friend who can get her a gift that is just as good, if not better._

 _"We're best friends." I mumble, reminding myself of that fact for the millionth time this week. Ever since THE dream a few days ago I have felt myself pulling back from her. She hasn't said anything but I can tell she's concerned. I just need to get over the fact that every time I see her now I find myself staring at her lips. That's not what I want though. I don't want those thoughts to control the friendship. I don't want to be putting up walls and constantly establishing boundaries. I just want to enjoy being her best friend. Only that._

 _Just as I'm thinking this, a display catches my eye in the corner of the store. I don't even know what store I'm in right now because there is so much clutter, but something is telling me to get a closer look. I walk over to the childish pieces of jewelry and smile. I've finally found the perfect gift._

Emma plops down next to me, as gracefully as ever. "Open our gift first!" Emma tells Henry who is sitting on the floor. We had decided to get him one major gift together and then just a few smaller things separately. He quickly follows her instructions and tares open the paper.

"A new laptop!" He exclaims.

I quickly find myself being tackled onto the couch in an overexcited hug. I don't mind it, but it's quite hard to get up afterwards since the limbs of three people are now tangled up in each other. We somehow manage though and Henry goes back to his original seat next to Neal.

Emma rests her head on my shoulder and we watch as the boys enthusiastically rip open their remaining wrapped gifts. The moment feels good, and right, and I'm glad we can have this.

After all of the boys gifts are opened, Henry passes out the remaining gifts to the adults. Emma ends up with a small pile of four gifts on her lap. (One from Snow, Charming, Neal, and Henry.) I have two small packages and an envelope.

"Go on!" Henry encourages, equally excited to see what we received as what he did.

I'm about to open the envelope marked "love, Neal" when I hear an outburst from Snow.

"Oh Regina!" She exclaims and looks over at me with an opened card in her hand. "How did you get this?"

"What is it?" Emma asks.

"It's a recipe for bird cookies!" Snow explains without actually being helpful.

"It's a seed and nut cookie that the chef used to make at the castle. They were her favorite. I have no way of knowing if that is the actual recipe, but I did a lot of experimental cooking before I adopted Henry and that is the recipe I figured out." I help explain.

"I'm sure they taste exactly the same. You wouldn't have stopped experimenting until it was perfect." Snow says graciously.

"Well, I guess she got us both something from the Enchanted Forrest." Charming adds. He holds up a silver pendent. "It was my grandfather's. My father gave it to me as a child. Where did you find it?" He asks amazed.

"Gold's shop."

"How did that man end up with everything?" Emma asks in an annoyed voice.

"He's always been a collector of things. Especially magical items or items he could barter with. The curse just took that trait and made him a career out of it." I guess.

I finally open the envelope in my hand and a few pictures of scribbles fall out.

"He made those especially for you." Snow explains.

"Wow Neal, you're almost already better than your sister." I compliment the boy by my feet. He looks up at me, smiles, and continues to knock down the blocks I got him.

"If I recall correctly, my artwork is still on your fridge." Emma huffs.

"Yes, and this will go up right next to it." I say and hold up one of the papers for her to see. "Then people will have to guess who made which."

"I'm sorry Monet, but not all of us can be as talented as you." She says while laughing.

After that I watch as Emma opens up Henry's gift, which ends up being a picture frame similar to the one he gave me this morning. This frame contains a picture of Henry and Emma instead of Henry and myself though.

I feel the need to open Emma's gift last, so I pick up Snow and David's gift next. I open up the small box and pull out a coffee mug. A laugh busts out of me before I can stop it. Inside the mug is a gift certificate to Granny's but the real reason I laughed is because of what is written on the mug. In big, cartoon print is written "World's Best Mayor!"

Snow looks over and gives me a cheeky grin. She is really something else.

"Glad you finally accepted the truth." I tell her as I pick up my final gift.

I can sense Emma watching me as I rip open the surprisingly well-wrapped square. It feels like a book of some kind so when I finally hold it in my hand I'm not surprised to see a hard spine staring up at me. I flip it around.

"A scrap-book?" I ask while laughing again. "I thought you were joking about that."

"I was at the time, but I just couldn't get the idea out of my head." She laughs along with me.

I open the book to see that it is still empty, but a stack of photos and a CD are tucked into the pocket of the front cover. There aren't that many photographs of us together and yet I'm almost surprised that we even had the dozen or so that are included. I pick up the CD and see her handwriting on it.

"It's a mix tape." She explains. "For if we ever go on a road trip again." She avoids eye contact as she's speaking. I can't figure out why this gesture makes her so embarrassed but I find that it's making me flustered by association.

"Well, we'll have to plan a trip so we have a use for it." I manage to get out.

"Yeah" She says still looking down.

I need something to break whatever tension has mysteriously settled so I decide it's time to give her my gift. I fish the small box out of my pants pocket.

"Merry Christmas." I say and hand it over.

She looks surprised, like she thought I hadn't gotten her anything. She excitedly starts to tare open the paper. Each second that goes by, my stomach does another flip.

She finally opens the small white box and holds up the bracelet. It's a simple rope with a star charm that says 'friends' on it. She looks over at me and I lift up my pant leg to show her the near identical bracelet around my ankle. The only difference is that on my star is written the word: best.

Suddenly her eyes go wide. "You got us best friend bracelets!" She practically shouts. "And you're actually wearing it!"

"That's what biffls do, right?" I respond once she's calmed down slightly.

This response only makes her eyes pop out even wider. She looks momentarily speechless and is searching my face some unnamed things. It's hard to meet her eyes when she's looking at me like that. Yet it's equally hard to look away.

"I don't think I've ever head that word come out of your mouth." She finally says.

"Let me see them!" Henry demands as he makes his way over to us. Emma hands him, her bracelet.

"Do you want me to tie it around your ankle too?" He asks her.

"Yes please!" She accepts. And he sits by her foot and ties it on for her. When he is done she sticks her leg out next to mine so that way we can see them together. Her smile is so large I wonder if it hurts her face. I know right then that I was stupid to worry about the gift.

"How come you get the one that says best?" She asks.

"Because I AM the best." I answer.

She nods her head in agreement.

Henry pulls out his phone. "Perfect picture for the scrapbook." He announces and forces us together so he can get both us, and the bracelets in the picture.

"Thank you." Emma tells me genuinely after the picture is taken.

"Thank you." I counter, and hug the book to my chest.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rest of the night is filled with music and smiles and pictures…lots of pictures. I claimed that the only reason I was agreeing to be in so many was because Henry wished it…but everyone knew that wasn't true. For the first time I think that someday, even sooner than I could have hoped, there will be no need for pretenses. I will no longer feel the need to justify why I am spending time with the Charmings, or why I will allow myself to be in photos with them and the rest of the townsfolk. Amazingly, all sense of formality has washed away when it comes to Emma and my son, so who knows how much longer until the walls come down completely.

Soon enough it's late into the night. Snow has just put Neal to bed and everyone is milling about half asleep. I make my way over to Henry, intending to tell him that we should get going, when I see he is lost in thought. I follow his line of sight and see that he is watching Snow and David cleaning the kitchen. Every few seconds the couple would kiss or bump each other or engage in some other form of physical contact.

"Yes, sometimes they can be insufferable." I whisper in his ear and sit down next to him on the couch.

He is startled out of his thoughts but continues to watch them as he answers. "Yeah it's kind of gross since they're my grandparents but…it's actually pretty great. It must be nice to have true love. I hope I have that someday." He says wistfully.

"What am I chop liver?" I ask. It came out as a joke, but it does make me sad that he seems to forgotten that we share true love.

He looks confused for a second and then responds, "That's not how I meant it and you know it."

"I'm sure she knows that kid." Emma says and sits down on his other side. "But really, how many people can say they broken a cure with true loves kiss twice. Especially before even reaching teenage years! You're quite lucky. A lot of people in this world have never had ANY love."

"You're right." He says shamefully. He clearly picked up on the fact that she meant kids like her had never had love. "I never thought of it that way."

I pat his knee. I know he meant well and I understand where his sentiment is coming from. It will always be hard for him, living in two different worlds. Whoever he finds love with will have to accept both just as he has.

"I never really thought too much about the fact that you guys share a true love." Henry comments.

It is an odd concept but we are both his parents and I probably wouldn't dwell on the comment except then her adds, "Does that make you guys true loves by proxy?"

"What?" Snow blurts out. Of course that was the only part of the conversation she had managed to overhear.

Emma's face is a mixture of anxious and confused that I can only assume is mirrored on my own.

"It's like math." Henry goes on to explain. "We learned about transitive relation in school. If, a=c and b=c, than a=b."

"Wait so in this scenario, I'm A, your mom is B, and you are C?" Emma tries to clarify.

"Yeah." He agrees.

"I don't think love works like that." Snow tells him. "It's not formulaic. Feelings don't often make logical sense."

"Yes." I agree without thought. My brain is just telling my mouth to quickly get past this conversation. "I'm glad to see that you are retaining your math lessons though." I look at him with as much pride as I can muster and specifically avoid Emma's eye. I may just slip into a panic attack if I do. Because there is really only one thought in my mind right now.

Math doesn't lie.

 **I guess the holidays came a few weeks early this year! haha I really liked this chapter and I hope you did too!**

 **Also, I made up the idea of bird cookies. If you know of something like this that exists though I would love to know so I can try the recipe myself!**


	13. The Truth

**Ugh. Guys I don't want to spoil last night's mid-season finale for anyone who hasn't watched it yet but ugh. They are killing my SwanQueen dreams.**

 **That being said, my frustrations and heartache fueled this chapter and it might show. All of your heartwarming feedback is the only thing keeping me from getting too discouraged to finish this story.**

 **Have no fear, I'm a chapter away from end anyway and I will finish.**

I don't pace. Or fidget. Or have any other discernible nervous ticks. My mother never would have stood for that.

Yet why do I find myself wearing and path in my office floor? My hands fully pressed into my stomach, as if that could stop the uncomfortable feeling that has taken up residence there?

Emma Swan. That's why.

The click clack of my heels seems to sooth my mind some. And god knows my mind needs soothing. For days now the only thing on my mind has been my supposed best friend.

After Henry's impromptu math lesson on Christmas, I had managed to force my face into a blank mask. I then remembered that it was an appropriate time to leave and jumped on that opportunity. I have no idea if the others saw through it, for I couldn't find it in myself to look at anyone long enough. That was three days ago and I blessedly haven't seen Emma once. This, of course, is completely by design.

I've been ignoring her. Not that she seems to be making a great effort to find me, but I certainly have not made myself easy to find. I just can't face her. Not yet. Not until I figure out what the jumble of thoughts in my mind means.

I'm driving myself absolutely insane. I've barely been able to sleep. It's like all these little memories and thoughts that I had successfully been suppressing have now forced their way into the forefront of my mind all at once. Every detail of every interaction I've ever had with Emma. Every prophecy I've ever heard about her life or mine. It's all appearing in a constant stream.

Details, like us sharing a true love. Because magic and people are full of deceptions, but math doesn't lie.

Memories, like her grabbing my arm and my magic coming back. Which, I had chalked it up to her being the savior at the time. And later, to her having true-live magic. But my magic had continued to be stronger with her. Stronger than it ever was when combined with Gold's or Mal's magic. It's because magic is emotion, and Miss Swan was the one to wake up my emotions after decades of sleep. She's never stopped challenging me either. For better or worse, she's constantly kept my emotions high.

Facts, like us sharing a son and being a family.

Prophecies, like the vision from the curse scroll. It's compelling that not only my own heart, but also magic is now telling me that Emma and Henry are my Happy Ending.

All of these things may be floating around in my head, but that tattoo on her wrist is what I think about the most. It's just so similar to Robins'. Same arm. Same place. It appears on the same crest. They received them around the same age. In fact, her and Robin on the surface are very similar. They both were thieves before finding love, having a son, and reforming. Even then, they both ended up loosing those loves…

For crying out loud, they're both even share names with birds!

It probably isn't as important of a coincidence as I'm making it out to be, but with everything else on top of it, my mind won't let me suppress it any longer.

If I ever want to sleep, eat, or be productive, ever again, I need to get answers. That means I may need to ask for help from the very last person in town that I would want to talk to.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

20 minutes later I pull up in front of the convent.

Am I really doing this? Is this worth talking to that horrible blue gnat?

I answer my own question by purposefully walking up to the door and ringing the bell.

I hear a distant crash. A few short seconds later, a frazzled Nova is answering the door. This puts me slightly more at ease. I have a problem with all fairies by nature but Nova and Tink are the only acceptable ones in my book. Then again, it's probably because they understand what it's like to be slighted by the Blue Fairy.

"Regina." She acknowledges, high pitched and surprised.

"Hello dear, may I come in?"

"Of course!" She says and quickly steps aside so the doorway is open.

"What can I do for you?" She asks pleasantly. "Are you here for Tink?"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could speak with Mother Superior."

She almost looks concerned now, but nods her head anyway. "I'll go get her." She rights an end table that she must have crashed into earlier and scurries down the hall.

I heave a great sigh. There is no way this will be pleasant.

A moment later, Blue stands at the end of the hall. "I've been expecting you. Please come into my office." She says and disappears again.

Of course she was expecting me. Fairies always know when they're needed.

That doesn't mean they always come to your aid…

"I need you to explain fairy dust to me." I demand upon entering the office. She's already seated behind a large oak desk.

"Why?" She asks suspiciously. You would think this woman would lay off me considering I now have her precious Snow White's blessing.

"Calm down." I sass. "I'm not trying to build a giant bug zapper if that's what your thinking." I sigh and much calmer I explain. "I need you to explain how the fairy dust worked when it showed me my soul-mate. Is there any way that it was wrong?"

"Fairy dust is never wrong." She immediately states. My stomach drops. I had known this, but it still didn't stop me from...from what? Hoping?

"However it can be used improperly." She begrudgingly adds.

"Explain." I practically growl. I refuse to sit in the chair she indicated across from her.

"There is a reason that we have an extensive process to become a fairy. And even more steps to become a fairy godmother. That type of magic…interfering in people lives…it's all very complicated. I know you think I'm some monster for stripping Green of her wings after she tried to help you, but it was necessary. What she did was very dangerous. She could have done much more harm than good to you, as well as to everyone. You weren't ever meant to see Robin that day. It was never your heart's deepest wish to meet your soul mate, so a fairy should have never intervened in that way." She begins to explain. I'd like to think I understand magic, but this fairy nonsense is driving me nuts. Every word that comes out of her mouth adds up to one long non-explanation.

"Fairy dust is never wrong." she repeats again. "But if used in the wrong way, the results can be misleading. Some people's soul-mates are dead. Some people's haven't been born yet. The fairy dust used to show you yours chose the best possible match for you with the people alive at the time. It doesn't mean you were ever meant to meet…at least not at the time it was revealed to you. Events were set in motion long before you were born that were fated to be. I couldn't be sure exactly what was to come, but I knew better than to intervene."

"Is this your roundabout way of apologizing for never helping me when I was a child, because if it is, you can save it."

"It wasn't." She says matter-of-factly. "I was simply explaining."

"So you're saying that Robin isn't actually my soul-mate?" I try to clarify her words now that my anger is subsiding.

"I'm saying that he was meant to marry Marian and have Roland, and you were meant for other things. Just as Henry was meant to be born, and Emma was meant to break the curse. Calling it destiny would be oversimplifying a very complicated phenomenon."

"Well, thank you for being no help at all." I say before finally exiting the room.

As angry as I am for not getting clear answers, I know she actually WAS a little helpful. For the first time since meeting Tink, I don't feel trapped into being with Robin. Even after breaking up with him, there was still a part of me wondering if I was just delaying the inevitable. Now, I know in my heart that the fairy dust had it wrong.

 _Some people's haven't been born yet._ I hear the phrase repeated in my head over and over like a car alarm that can't be ignored.

It's sounds an awful lot like the alarm from an old VW bug.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I feel so utterly alone right now. Alone in a way that I realize I haven't felt in a while. I unfortunately have come to rely on people in my life. When distressed, I've grown to have people I could talk to. Henry, Robin, Archie, Snow, David...hell even Belle would probably help me if I was desperate. I can't talk to any of them though. They're all too close to the situation to give me perspective. I don't think any of them would understand anyway. The only person who might understand is Emma and as she is the cause of my distress, talking to her is not an option.

As if she could sense my thoughts were about her, my phone rings and I see she is calling me. I almost pick up. My finger is hovering right over the button.

In the end, I let it go to voicemail.

I'm sitting in my car with nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

I think of the one person I've always found comfort in when I'm distressed. The one place where I allowed myself to vent openly during the curse.

Without active thinking I find that I've already started the car. While driving, I stare half-focused out the windshield and force down tears. Minutes later, I arrive at the cemetery and exit the vehicle. All too soon, I'm opening the door to my family crypt. I can feel magic pulsating from my vault beneath my feet, but I wont be going down there. Not today.

"Hello Daddy." I approach the stone encampment slowly and run my hand along his engraved name.

"It's been a long time since I've sought out your comfort. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I haven't missed you. Because I do. Everyday."

Now the tears begin flowing freely down my face and I don't try to stop them. I completely give in, just for this moment, to all the heartache.

"I don't know what to do." My voice cracks as a sob breaks through my chest. "My whole life has been some jumbled pre-determined mess. Does anything I even do matter? I'd like to think I have a say. I'm willing to take responsibility for all the bad I've done as long as I know my redemption and my happiness is also because of my own free will."

I slide down until I'm sitting with my back against the cold coffin. I can almost feel my mother rolling her eyes and telling me to move past this unbecoming existential crisis.

This only causes me to cry harder.

Thinking of my mother inevitably leads me to think of Daniel. And from that my thoughts only spiral out of control and I end up picturing every heartache until I am back to the beginning. Emma.

"I cared for her before I knew any of this. That has to count for something, right?" Quieter I mumble, "Although maybe I always knew."

Stillness engulfs the space until I can't take it any more.

"You would like her." I tell the memory of the man behind me. "Henry too." A sad chuckle escapes me. "Especially Henry."

"I've loved every gift Emma has ever given me, but Henry was by far the best. I see so much of him in her, or the other way around I suppose. Maybe that's why I could never truly hate her. Even when we first met, I felt threatened and wanted her gone… but not dead. Never dead. There has always been something about her that I was drawn to. Perhaps it was that flicker of recognition in the facial expressions she would make. Perhaps it was just she brought excitement into my son and my town. I'm sure you remember well the rants from her first few weeks here. My only consolation is the knowledge that she got just as worked up after our encounters as I did. Snow told me she would come home to blasting music and broken appliances."

I smile at thought of little Mary Margaret coming home to her blonde roommate only to find their apartment in shambles.

"I hate that I put Henry in danger with the apple turnover, but I'm glad things turned out the way they did. I can't imagine what my life would be like right now if she had been the one to eat it. Or if she had simply left of her own accord like she was about to anyway."

I bring my knees to my chest and hug them tightly. "I don't deserve either of them. If all this is fate, then I'm sorry they got saddled with me."

Self-pity is not something I like to indulge in too often, but the only cure seems to be either anger or hope. One option that I am unfortunately well versed in, the other…not so much. Since I can't find hope right now, and anger can be placed nowhere productive, I'm stuck with self-pity for a while.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't know how long I calmly sit there after that. After a while the tears stop, but my thoughts don't. Eventually I notice that it is dark and the stone beneath me has long become uncomfortably cold.

Interestingly, I feel at peace. The storm in my mind has diminished to a slight drizzle of rain. I'm able to see through the fog.

Before leaving I make a list of all the things I know to be true. Saying everything out loud helps me further focus my thoughts.

"One, I could be happy with an "ever after" where I am part of the Charming family and Emma is simply my best friend.

Two, Robin is not my soul mate, but I would very much like to continue to be his friend.

Three, as much as Zelena pisses me off, I need to officially let the feud go. Because if my life has been ruled by a cruel fate, than so has hers.

Four, The Blue Fairy is the worst (not that this is news) and would absolutely keep people from their happiness rather reveling anything she knows. (Rumple was at least willing to trade you for information.)

Five, I'm not going to tell Emma anything Blue said or my own theories behind her tattoo because I don't want her to feel the same pressure that I felt when I finally met Robin.

And six, whether we are destined to be "true loves" or not, I am undeniably and irreversibly in love with Emma Swan…"


	14. The Dreamcatcher

**Last Chapter! It's bittersweet! I loved writing this story, but I don't want to force it past it's natural progression. Hopefully you like how I ended things! It's the longest chapter yet because I didn't want to leave anything out!**

 **Thank you so much for taking this journey with me and for all your kind words and support! When I first started writing this I had no idea it would basically be an outlet for me to address all of my SwanQueen theories and problems with plot holes.**

 **Enjoy!**

"Regina!" I distantly hear my name being called. At first I think it's part of my dream. A beautiful dream which stars a certain blonde princess.

Only when I hear pounding against wood that I open my eyes acknowledge that; one, it's morning and two, someone is at my front door.

I roll off the couch in my study where I must have fallen asleep and slip on my slippers. I walk right up to the door and open it. No other thought in my mind other than to get the incessant beating noise to stop.

I pull open the door to reveal the object of my (literal and figurative) dreams.

"Oh hey. I didn't think you were going to answer." Emma looks up at me sheepishly and I smile. I smile because as ridiculous as it is, I've missed her face. Her mild surprise at my presence quickly turns to concern. "You okay?"

It's only then that I catch site of my reflection in the glass. It certainly LOOKS like I spent a not-so-comfortable night on the couch. I flush and quickly cast a refreshing spell over me. It doesn't change my clothes from the yoga pants and sweater I fell asleep in, but it does smooth my hair, clean my makeup, and freshen my breath.

Ah, there is nothing like the innocent embarrassment of looking your worst when you unexpectedly see your crush.

"I fell asleep on the couch." I explain.

"You just woke up?" She asks, going back to being surprised.

"What time is it?" I answer her with my own question.

"11 am." She informs me. And wow, I guess I really needed sleep, because the sun ALWAYS wakes me up before 8:30 at the latest.

"Where is Henry?" He had (thankfully) planned to sleep over Emma's house last night because they were going to spend today together.

"He's with my mom." She informs me.

It's only then that I realize we are still talking in the doorway. I move out of the way as a silent invitation for her to enter the house. She does, but we still end up just facing each other in the hallway.

The silence stretches on until I can't take it.

"Why were you surprised I answered the door?" I ask more for something to say than to fulfill my mild curiosity.

She gives me a small smile. "Because you're avoiding me." She says knowingly. "I'm sorry I've made you feel uncomfortable or like I didn't want you around." She apologizes and before I can dismiss them as unnecessary she continues. "I've missed you. It's hasn't even been a week, and I know I sound melodramatic, but it felt like an eternity. I forgot what it was like to have you ignore me. It's kind of the worst." She smirks but there is a deep sadness beneath the surface.

I open my arms and we're standing close enough for her to simply fall into them.

"Oh sweetie." I whisper. I'm at a loss for words otherwise. I haven't even told her how I feel and yet I'm somehow already in way over my head. I didn't think she would be so hurt.

"I'm sorry." She says and pulls back. "It's just been a long day."

"It's not even noon yet." I point out.

"If you knew what my morning was like then you would understand." She smirks but it's so small it looks pathetic.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I offer.

"Um…" She shifts in place. "Yeah I guess, but it's probably easier if I show you." She replies.

I tilt my head in confusion. She then magics a decent sized dreamcatcher into her hand.

"Ah." I respond in recognition. I turn and lead her into my study so that we can sit down. I'm honestly a little afraid of what she's going to show me. What could it be that she wants me to see it for myself?

She sits next to me; so close that ours knees bump together when hands me the dreamcatcher.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Emma is sitting at her kitchen table. The rising sun is creeping in through the blinds. A mug of steaming coffee is placed in front of her. She is staring off into nothingness, seemingly lost in her thoughts._

 _"Ma?" Henry questions as he walks into the room._

 _She jumps at the intrusion but smiles at our son. "Hey, what are you doing up so early?" She asks and pulls out the chair next to her._

 _He sits down and slouches, still not fully awake. "I could ask you the same thing." He counters._

 _"Couldn't sleep." She responds to his implied question._

 _"Did you and Mom have a fight?" He asks and yawns._

 _She looks a little surprised by the assumption. But something in her face tells me that is exactly what she had been thinking about before he came down. "No we didn't… why would you think that?" She answers._

 _"I don't know. Everything on Christmas seemed good but then you guys haven't seen each other since and you've both been quiet." He gets up and gets pours himself a glass of juice._

 _"I've had a lot on my mind." She defends. "Although I think she's avoiding me. I tried contacting her a few times yesterday and didn't get an answer." She adds in a thoughtful tone._

 _"You should go talk to her in person then." He recommends. "We both know when it comes to you and mom, it's going to be up to you to break the stalemate."_

 _She contemplates his words for a moment before answering. "I don't want to ruin our day together." She tells him, clearly trying to put off the awkward confrontation._

 _"I can just go to Gram and Gramps for a while and meet you guys later." He reasons. "Besides it's going to be no fun hanging out with you if you're in a mood all day."_

 _She glares at him. "Fine. They should be awake soon so go get changed and I'll drive you over."_

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 _"'Morning!" Emma says as she lets herself into her parent's apartment._

 _"Oh Emma!" Snow says as she sits at the kitchen island. "We didn't expect to see you two today." She says pleasantly but with a question in her tone._

 _Henry gives his grandma a side hug and walks over to television where Neal is watching a cartoon with rapt attention._

 _"Yeah, I was wondering if Henry could stay with you for a few hours this morning."_

 _"Yes of course. Is everything okay?" She asks and pats the stool next to her._

 _Emma comes over and sits down. "I just have stuff to do." She says evasively._

 _"Regina stuff?" Her mother asks with a smirk. Emma looks away. "You know, you could have just said that."_

 _"Stop Mom." She warns in whisper. "The last thing I need is for Henry to hear you teasing me about having a "crush" on his mother." Emma uses actual air quotes around the word crush._

 _Snow is still smiling but when she responds she lowers her voice into a whisper also. "I'm sorry Em…but really, you made her a mix tape! You talk about her constantly. What do you expect us to think?" She questions completely unapologetically "It's honestly adorable to watch." She obviously can't resist adding._

 _"Okay, I'm leaving." Emma says at a normal volume. "See you later kid." She shouts over to the television where neither boy even glances away._

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

 _Emma leaves the apartment but doesn't go to Regina's._

 _Curiously enough, she paces up and down the main street sidewalk for a good 20 minutes before finally turning the corner and going into Gold's pawn shop._

 _"What can I do for you Miss Swan?" He asks with thinly veiled distain when she enters._

 _"I need you to tell me about the original dark curse." She says in much the same tone that Regina used with the Blue fairy the day before._

 _"May I ask the reason for your interest?"_

 _She glares at him. (She seems to be doing that a lot this morning.)_

 _"I was specifically wondering about the breaking of the curse. As I was destined to be responsible for that, you can see how it would be of my concern."_

 _"What concern is it now? That curse was broken years ago?"_

 _"When you originally had Regina cast the curse, how did you plan on me breaking it?" She asks, ignoring his inquires. "The "true love" potion you created from my parents could have done it, but my assumption is that you had always intended to use that to bring magic back. But bringing magic back wouldn't have brought everyone's memories back, correct?"_

 _"That is correct." He confirms skeptically._

 _"So how did you expect me to break the curse? You didn't know Henry would exist? If you had then you wouldn't have been surprised to find out he was your son's." She reasons._

 _"Why Miss Swan. True love's kiss was always meant to break the curse."_

 _"Why did it have to be me then? Why couldn't my parents kissing have broken the curse?"_

 _"For someone who has been a dark one, you still don't know much about magic, especially dark magic, do you?"_

 _"I would like to hear my information come directly from the source…wouldn't you?" She responds while leaning over the glass countertop._

 _"I suppose." He says and sighs. "To break the curse, both parties had to first BELIEVE in the curse. It just so happened that your son has the heart of the truest believer, and you had just seen proof in the form of a dragon with your own eyes."_

 _"But like I said before, you didn't originally know Henry would exist." She points out._

 _"Your point Miss Swan? I'm a very busy man."_

 _"How was I supposed to get to Storybrooke and break the curse if he didn't exist?" She finally demands. This is clearly the one question she came here to ask._

 _"Fate is funny. You should know that. Regina was always going to adopt a child. I planted that idea in her head. Maybe that child, no matter who they were related to, would have helped you break the curse? But maybe not. Regina and myself both also believed in the curse once you arrived. There is a multitude of ways it could have broken."_

 _"So you're saying that if I had kissed you or her, I could have broken the curse?" She asks with a shake of her head and an uncertainty in her voice._

 _He laughs at the notion of breaking a curse with her. "Remember, only if there is love there first."_

 _"Yes, I understood that. Thanks." She remarks sarcastically and turns to head towards the door._

 _"Don't mention it drearie." He says ominously before she leaves._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My head is swimming with the memories I've seen so far. They are making me more and more confused.

She went to GOLD for a TRUE LOVE talk? I'm questioning her sanity.

I don't realize that I've commented aloud until she responds.

"I know it was stupid, but you weren't around to tell me that. I need you to inform me of when I'm being stupid remember?" She comments quietly in an attempt at humor.

"Evidently." I answer distractedly and reluctantly lift the dreamcatcher once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Emma walks distractedly out of Gold's shop. With her head down and face contorted she doesn't see the person in front of her until she walks right into them._

 _"Oh shit sorry!" She says and looks up and grabs the arm of the other person to steady them both._

 _"No problem Sheriff." The teen says good-naturedly._

 _Because of course it's Trevor._

 _"Hey kid." Emma says once she recognizes him. She lets go of his arm and steps back._

 _"Where are you running off to?" He asks._

 _"Not running to" She corrects. "Running from."_

 _He looks confused but then turns his head and sees the door to Gold's shop and nods in understanding._

 _"Where's your other half?" He asks casually._

 _"What?" She responds. I don't know if she's confused by the question or the way he phrased it._

 _"The Mayor." He explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world._

 _"You really think she's my other half?" She asks._

 _"Yeah isn't she? You guys are like the same person and I never see you apart." He laughs._

 _"I think most people would say we're exact opposite people." She comments._

 _"Nah. You guys seem to have a lot in common." He shrugs. "But what do I know. Maybe you're both."_

 _"We're both opposites and exactly the same?" She clarifies._

 _"Yeah." He readily agrees._

 _"Are you high? That doesn't even make sense."_

 _"Of course not Sheriff." He says and looks away. "It does make sense if you think it through." He says, and I have a feeling he's just trying to distract her at this point. "It's like your hands." He begins to explain and presses both his palms together in demonstration. "They are basically exact mirror replicas of each other, yet they're literally as opposite as left and right." He looks up to make sure she is following his line of thinking before her continues. "See my left hand has a scar on it from then I fell out of a tree. Life experiences change my hands in different ways, yet they are both still the same; they're both still my hands."_

 _She stares at his hands for a few moments before responding. "I hate to admit it, but that was actually pretty profound kid."_

 _"Thanks." He said, sounding proud of himself. "I'm thinking of becoming a philosophy major."_

 _"So you'll be working at the movies forever?" she mumbles._

 _"What?" He asks because it was too low for him to hear._

 _"Of course you are." She answers louder this time. "So you think Regina and I are like hands?" She gets back on track with the conversation._

 _"Yeah. Isn't that like the ideal relationship? To have someone who complements you? He asks. He sounds confused by her unenthusiastic responses._

 _"We do…" Emma says thoughtfully. Then she snaps her head back up. "Nice talking to you kid, but I have to go." She says and gives the first real smile all morning._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Why did you show me this?" These are the first words out of my mouth. It's the only coherent statement that I could form. What does she mean to accomplish by showing me this? I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up that she feels the same way I do, but it's becoming increasingly harder each second that she speaks to me.

"I showed you, because I wanted to let you know that this" she points to the dream catcher "doesn't scare me. Not like it would have in the past. I'm not running away. I can't run from the people I care about anymore. I've made that mistake too many times." She pauses and looks down at her hands in her lap. "My M.O has always been to not tell people I loved them until there was near death situation: Neal, Killian, my parents, even Henry. I don't want to wait for that with you. Well I guess technically I already did, but with you, it's different. Our relationship is different than all of those other ones. Each of those other people decided that they loved me and I just let them. Eventually I would get scared I would loose them and only then would completely give into loving them back. With you, for the first time in my life, I'm the pursuer. You wanted me gone from the first moment I got here, but I refused. And I'd like to think I stayed because of Henry, and in a roundabout way I did, but really I stayed because of you. If I had trusted you, I may have left when I said I would and tried my best never to think about that night or my son ever again. But I didn't, I stayed and I protected you. And I tried to get along with you. I actively pursued a friendship with you. When that finally worked, I initiated the biffl status. I should have known that if anything more were to happen with this" she points a finger between the two of us "then I would have to be the one to address it." She takes one of my hand and holds it between hers.

I have to bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. I'm sure my hand is shaking where she holds it. There is no mistaking her words now. They are building up to whatever she came here to tell me (although now I'm certain what that is.)

And I'm terrified.

I had not let myself think this far ahead. I had only envisioned futures where I would reveal my feelings; not the other way around. I'm not prepared for this. And I'm honestly terrified of these feelings and of the bigger implications of them.

Because if Emma is as invested in this as I am…then with my luck, the relationship is sure to end badly.

She is looking at me expectantly. She's nervous, but not as much as I would think she'd be in this situation. She exudes confidence in her statements.

"I'm glad you're not scared anymore…but I am." I admit. I'm trying desperately to keep my voice from shaking. "I've never had much luck when it comes to love."

She starts to smile. The biggest smile yet. "Well you know what they say, third times a charm…and maybe in your case, it's a Charming."

The hand she isn't holding flies to my mouth as if I could catch the laugh that erupts from my chest.

It obviously doesn't work.

Once I start laughing I can't stop. She starts chuckling at her bad joke too, which is just too much because her laughter is contagious. Leave it to Emma to make me laugh right when I'm starting to panic.

My lip is still trembling and I'm pretty sure my cheeks are damp but I don't stop. The incredulity of my life only keeps the tears and laughter coming. My hysterics diminish slightly enough for me to catch my breath and I shake my head forcefully while watching her. Her eyes are trained on me and she's looking at me like…like I'm everything.

"I love you." I affirm, while a laugh is still bubbling in my throat.

Her face lights up like turning on a Christmas tree. Like wonder and amazement and love and family.

"Really?" She asks. I nod a yes and sober up completely. A smile is still left on my face though.

"Good." She starts. "Because I'm more than a little in love with you and I'm pretty sure the universe is trying to force us together anyway."

Her words make my heart fell like it's physically growing too big to fit in my chest. It's almost uncomfortable but I'll gladly deal with it forever if I can continue to hear those words. After this, I know I'll agree to anything she says. That's all it took to convince me beyond a doubt that this is the future I want, no matter how resistant or scared I was.

Look at her, yet again convincing me to go along with whatever she says. I would wonder if she's actually using magic to constantly pull off such a feat. I don't have to wonder though, because I know she is. It's love that makes me agree to these things, and love is the most powerful magic of all.

I bring my hand up to her face and rub my thumb across her cheek. Her face is even softer than I'd imagined and it's amazing that I get the privilege to touch her like this. My heart is only continuing to expand and I don't know how I can handle any more of this feeling.

"For the first time ever, I will happily go along with the universe's plan." I delicately inform her.

Her eyes crinkle in happiness and she leans in. My eyes close right before she brushes her lips gently against mine. It's a tease and I can't handle it so I pull her in and press them firmly together.

And my heart explodes.

Not literally. But for half a second I question if it really had because I can HEAR small explosions going off that I'm more than sure aren't just in my head.

At the same time we both pull back and look up. There, near the ceiling of my study, small magical fireworks are slowing fading away.

"Did we do that?" Emma asks still looking at the ceiling, stunned by the accidental display.

"I believe so." I answer, just as amazed.

"Well it's a few days too early for fireworks, but I'm definitely not complaining." She looks down to my face and I can sense it so I meet her eyes. They are filled with adoration and I realize it is not a new look, but I never recognized it for what it was before.

I capture her lip again and lean over so that she is forced to lie back on the couch. I take the opportunity to straddle her. I haven't been this worked up over just kissing someone in decades. I feel like a typical teenager from this world. (But I really hope Henry isn't doing anything like this because my mind is in a very inappropriate place right now.)

I don't know how long we're like this for. Time and place evidently get away from us. We become so wrapped up in each other that we don't notice the world outside. We don't hear the beeping of the cell phones indicating messages. We don't hear the front door open or footsteps on the hardwood floor.

"Mom?" Henry calls as he walks into the room. "Oh god!"

I pull back but I know it's already too late for him not to have seen us making out with his other mother's hands up my shirt.

"Henry!" I exclaim. But he has already spun around and his back is facing us.

"Sorry" He says quickly. "I'll be in the kitchen."

Emma begins laughing as soon as he leaves the room.

"It's not funny." I tell her and whack her arm before extracting myself completely and standing up. My face is burning with embarrassment.

"Yes it is." She disagrees and stands up to face me. She straightens my shirt and takes both of my hands.

"Everything will be fine." She says seriously.

And just like that, I believe it will be.

"I love you." She assures me. "Everything that's happening is good. So what if our kid caught us making out? Yeah, it's not how we would have liked for him to find out, but plenty of kids see their parents in compromising positions. I know I have."

"Sorry to hear that." I deadpan.

"Yeah but I got over it. So, how about we go talk to Henry?" She suggests and lets go of my hands to open the door.

"Okay" I agree. I take a deep breath and walk through the door.

We find Henry in the kitchen where he said he'd be. He's currently sitting on a stool and furiously writing in a notebook.

He looks up when he hears us walks into the room. His embarrassment seems to have lessened if the smug grin on his face is any indication.

"So…do you guys have something you want to tell me?" He asks, grin still firmly in place.

I can feel myself blush again but Emma simply rolls her eyes at him and plops down next to her.

"Don't act so smug kid." She bumps his shoulder. I move about the kitchen getting hot cocoa for everyone just to give myself something to do other than stand there.

"How long has this been going on?" He shuts his notebook and looks between us.

"Well that's a hard question." She tells him. "But…this morning I guess?"

"I'm glad my advice helped then." He deduces.

"Yeah, thanks." She says with a laugh.

I set the hot chocolate and cinnamon on the counter and stand to face them.

"As an author, can I just point out that this is the perfect ending to my story?!" He finally says excitedly.

"What?" Any nerves I had been unconsciously harboring about him not being happy were instantly wiped away.

"I've been re-writing the Once Upon a Time book to be more accurate. This is the perfect ending. The White knight and the Evil Queen brought together by their son, and go from being enemies to falling in love." He takes a sip casually. "It practically writes itself."

"I think that's oversimplifying things." I point out. It's a nice story regardless.

"Well obviously I will add everything in between like you guys working together to save me." He defends.

"Don't forget to add how we became biffls before falling in love. Or at least admitting we're in love." She adds the last part while mumbling into her mug.

"Please don't add that atrocious word to your book." I plead. But my smile is belying my annoyance.

"I've heard you say it so you can't act like you hate it anymore!" She argues.

"Just because I've said it doesn't mean I want it forever immortalized in print."

"I'm glad to know some things will never change." Henry comments while watching us bicker.

I shut my mouth, but his comment doesn't deter his younger mother.

"I think we need a new word now anyway." She brushes off my protests. "Like bifals"

"Do I want to know what that stands for?" I have a feeling I don't but she's going to tell me anyway.

"Best friends and lovers." She says and gives me an exaggerated wink from across the table.

"Ew Ma!" Henry scrunches up his face in disgust.

"I agree, please stop." I add with the same amount of disgust. It's also not entirely accurate...yet.

"Fine, fine." She laughs at our expressions. "Maybe we'll have a different title soon anyway…" She jokes.

Girlfriends. True Loves. Partners. Wives. Any and all of those titles may only have been implied, but the unspoken words fill up the room and fill up my heart.

The implication of them hits me hard because I learned better than to disregard one of her jokes.

After all, a joke is what set events in motion that lead us here today.


End file.
